Not Since You
by ForeverInMemory
Summary: Five years ago,just before graduation,Kim leaves unexpectedly.Now she's back bringing a secret in tow.What is the secret?Will Jack forgive her?Follow her as she goes through the aftermath of her leaving and the story behind it.PS:I suck at summary
1. Coming back

A/N: I've been having this story idea for a while. Basically Kim leaves, disappears, skedaddled (enter whatever words you know that basically means she left) just months a way from her high school graduation. Five years later, she comes back to town to town to face it all with a secret in tow. I know I cannot summarize to save my life, but technically that is the main plot line.

Anyways tell me what you think. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it just plain awful? Read and Review but most importantly enjoy...

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><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 1: Coming back

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><p>Let me tell you a story about the ultimate girl next door.<p>

She had a huge list of extracurricular activities; she was the cheer leading captain, she is the leader of the school's news team and she is student body president. Not to mention she took dance lessons, can sing, is an A+ student, and had a black belt.

That's right a black belt.

She has blonde hair, brown eyes and fair skin and she was nice to everyone so much that her word was law in high school. Everyone loved her; the teachers, the parents, the various student body groups. Of course there were people who hated her too, jealous or conceited but those people would give it all just to have her talk to them for a minute.

She had a way of connecting to people and she saw the best in everyone. To everyone she was perfect. But I knew she wasn't. She could be messy, she could be lazy, and she could procrastinate like every other teenager. There were times she was weak and there were times she didn't see pass her prejudice. But hey she's human too.

This is not the story of how we fell in love, it is more like the story of how we fell apart. There will be times when you will laugh your heart out, and then there will be times you'll sympathize her and mad at me. I will admit; I'm not perfect, I have made many mistakes concerning her. But in my defense I was young and way over my head.

...

Kimberly Crawford took a deep breath. She tried to gather herself. She was Kimberly Anne Crawford. Calm, cool, collected. Always have, always will. Right now she was in her convertible waiting. Waiting for herself to be brave enough to march into the mall she fled five years ago without any notice or goodbyes.

She didn't know what to expect. Open arms, rude gestures, hostility, hospitality. She did not even know if all of them would be here today. All she knew from her mom was that they still came here. They being Jerry, Milton, Eddie and Jack. Here being the dojo.

It was stupid to just stay here in the car, gathering courage, but one of the lessons she had learn in the past five years was that bravery builds up, step by step, inch by inch. She looked into the mirror of her car. In many ways she had changed and yet she was still the same. Her blonde hair was now cut to shoulder length, with various brown highlights. She still had the same brown eyes. Her figure was more or less the same.

"You can do this," She told herself before walking out of her convertible. It was afternoon. The mall was crowded. Kim should not be surprised at how much the mall change. It had been years after all. There was a brand new music store and coffee place. There were also stores and food places that seemed to pass the test of time. There was the reptile shop, Circus Burger and Falafel Phil's.

And then there it was.

The dojo.

Bobby Wasabi Dojo.

Her dojo, or her used to be dojo seemed to be more popular. She could see children inside with several instructors, all of them oblivious to the fact she was standing outside the door. And to make matters worse, she spotted three guys walking out of the office with her old sensei.

All of them changed. Taller, muscular, smarter, more confident and yet they all still had the same mischievous spark in their eyes. She felt like she could not stop looking at them and yet her eyes only focused on the brown haired guy. He looked even better than she remembered. He still had his shaggy brown hair. He looked taller, more muscular and yet he was still quite lean. And then there were other small things she noticed that were the same; his nose, mouth, brown eyes.

Kim suddenly felt small. She wanted to run away but she reprimanded herself. She had enough time running away, five years of it and now she had to face her demons. Unconsciously, she tugged her dress. She had paid attention to what she dressed today. Gone were the over sized t-shirts and jeans. She was wearing a sophisticated looking blue dress that not only looked gorgeous but flaunted her figure. On top of that she was wearing a cardigan and killer shoes. She knew she looked good but she didn't feel anything of that. She wanted to come back feeling powerful and victorious as if she had it all and was flaunting it, no matter how conceited it may seem. She wanted to show them she was no longer the wreck and mess they had suspected her to be.

Taking one more deep breath and squaring her shoulders, the twenty three year old opened the door of the dojo. The familiar bell rang and memories seemed to flood in her mind. Sparring, kicking butt, the sweet victory after winning competitions. A few kids stopped practicing to see who came in but soon got back to training. Kim watched as her sensei along with the three other guys did a double take at her.

"Kim?" Milton finally said, not believing his eyes.

"Hey guys. I'm back," Kim said watching their reactions.

They were all shock, no doubt about that, but what happens after they get over it. Jerry seemed to be the first one to recover. Kim watched as he walked up to her, tensing up for what he was going to do. But soon relaxed when he gave her a big hug.

Soon Eddie, Milton and Rudy started to move towards her welcoming her back. There was much hugging. Kim felt herself relax a little more. Maybe it would not be that bad. After finally hugging Rudy, she looked to where Jack was. She could feel the eyes of all them. They all, like her, wanted to know how he would react.

He was still rooted but his eyes seemed to be warring with emotions.

"You're back," he finally said.

"Yeah," Kim replied.

It felt wrong, like they were strangers or acquaintances not best friends. They used to be able to talk about anything but now, they were all proper and polite. Kim did not know why it made her feel so uncomfortable.

"Okay," Jack said before turning to Rudy, "I've got to go pick Stella up. I'll see you later."

And with that Kim watched as her former best friend walk out of the dojo.

What in the world was she thinking coming back?

...

Kim was at the coffee place with Jerry. Eddie had followed Jack out. Milton and Rudy wanted to catch up but they were busy in the dojo. Kim found herself with Jerry at the new coffee place.

"Here are your orders," the waitress said as she placed both Jerry and Kim's drink on the booth they were sitting on.

The coffee place it turns out was not that bad. It had a cheery and relaxed vibe about it.

"Thanks," Kim smiled. The waitress left.

Kim took a sip of her drink before looking at Jerry. He was not the same. Of course five years would change a person. The last time she saw Jerry was when he was eighteen. Back then he was still having fun and carefree, now he looked somehow refined and yet he was still the same. Still good old Jerry.

"So how's your family?" Kim asked, beginning the conversation.

"Good. My sister just bought a new house. My parents are still the same," Jerry replied.

"That's great," Kim smiled, "What about you?"

"I'm doing good," Jerry said before adding, "Great actually. Got a job, a place to live and a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend?" Kim's eyebrows rose. Jerry had, at eighteen, announced that he was never going to settle down.

"Yeah, We've been going out for almost a year," Jerry informed with a smile.

"Wow. That is unexpected," Kim said still shock, "Congratulations."

"Yeah who knew right," Jerry said as he took a sip of his drink.

Kim knew exactly what Jerry meant. At eighteen they had never expected who they were going to be five years later. Kim herself could not imagine how her life turned out. She had always thought that she would still be friends with Jack, Milton, Eddie, Jerry and Rudy. So far she had not seen them until five years later which was today. She had often in those five years wished to come back but always chickened out, telling herself she was not ready. Kim was back now, but she was never ready.

"So how have you been?" Jerry asked breaking Kim's train of thought.

"Fine, good, okay," Kim responded.

One of Jerry's eyebrows rose questioningly, "That is not really an assuring answer."

"I've been great actually," Kim confessed, "The best I've been in years."

And maybe that was wrong. She should be feeling guilty about what she did and part of her did and yet she never regretted her decision. It should be wrong if you laid it all down but she didn't see it that way. The best thing happened to her in those five years and that was the reason she had to go back.

"That's good," Jerry offered with a smile.

"Yeah," Kim said smiling back.

There was a moment of silence. Neither knew what to say. Kim knew Jerry had a burning question for her, one that she did not know if she was ready to answer and somehow Jerry knew that too. Jerry had been like a brother to her throughout high school which was strange considering she was star student and he was the school's rebel.

"Look, I know it is none of my business, but where were you the past five years?" Jerry spoke up. It wasn't the question that Kim had expected him to ask first but nevertheless expected him to ask.

"Honestly, with my aunt Charlotte," Kim shrugged, " I went to college there and everything."

"Okay," Jerry said simply.

"Aren't you going to ask me why?" Kim asked.

"Why what?"

"Why I left," Kim responded.

"And let you have the opportunity to say; 'Drop it, okay. Let's talk about something else' while staring at me mysteriously. I don't think so," Jerry snickered.

"I always wanted to say that," Kim played along. They both laughed softly before Jerry grew serious.

"We are all entitled to our secrets and I know you're not ready to tell," Jerry said.

It was like he still knew her and that raised a lump in her throat. Maybe she still did have a friend in him.

"Thanks."

"Can I ask you something though," Jerry asked leaning in.

"Sure," Kim replied.

"Why did you come back?" he asked.

That was not a question she had expected. It threw her off a bit and yet the answer rose to her lips without any effort.

"To make things right."

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><p>Well what do you think? What do you think is Kim's secret? Why do you think she left five years ago? What do you think would be Jack's reaction? Chapter 2 will be up sooner or later (I prefer sooner) so till then :)<p> 


	2. Jet lagged

A/N: Chapter two is up. You guys or gals are awesome. I honestly did not expect any reviews for my first chapter. Thank you! I was motivated to write the second chapter up. The next chapter would not be out in a while as I am going to be going for a family vacation for about 1 week +.

Special thanks to emeralgreenlove, uniquemusician, mrssamwinchester93, Flubber But Buddies FOREVA and Akaynin for the reviews.

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><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 2: Jet lagged.

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><p>Jack walked out of the dojo and straight to the parking lots. This could not be happening. From a distance away he could hear Eddie calling out for him but he continued to walk towards his car, still shocked from today's surprise. He had decided to see Rudy today and met the other guys (Eddie, Jerry, and Milton) on the way to see Rudy. All of them had been catching up, it was a month since he saw any of them and just as he was about to leave to pick Stella up, when someone entered the dojo. And not just any someone, but Kimberly Crawford.<p>

Who did she think she was? To just come waltzing in after disappearing for five year, without any clue to where she was going. She didn't even tried to get in touch with any of them. She just left, no notice, no goodbyes. And the way the rest just welcomed her in open arms. It was...

Jack turned around quickly and startled Eddie who was just feet away.

"You didn't know she was coming, did you?" he asked, suspicion creeping into his voice.

"No I had no clue," Eddie said without missing a beat.

Jack knew he was lashing out at Eddie and that was unfair. He dropped his shoulders and said, "Sorry."

Eddie merely nodded and Jack took that Eddie had already forgiven him. There was an uncomfortable silence between them before Eddie spoke up.

"Are you alright Jack?" Eddie asked cautiously.

Was he alright? No, he was not.

"Yeah, look I have to pick Stella up. I'll see you around," Jack said before going into his car.

He tried to get rid of thoughts about the blonde haired girl but Kim kept cropping up to his mind. She looked different and yet as amazing as ever. Her hair was now shoulder length and she had grown out of the bangs she had when she was sixteen. Her eyes were the same browns as ever. The ones that haunted him over the past five years. The last time he had seen her was in his senior class of mathematics.

What happened? Why now? Why did she comeback, only now? Why did she leave in the first place? His mind was consumed with thoughts as he looked at the dashboard clock before groaning. Great, he was going to be a little late. Stella was going to kill him. He drove faster on to the airport.

"You are late, you doofus," Stella said as Jack walked out of his car and towards him. Jack hugged her. Stella had been always been Jack favorite sister. Sure they had their moments of pure sibling rivalry but Stella who was two years younger than Jack had been one of the people in his life that he could talk about anything to.

"How are you baby sis?" Jack asked as he pulled out and looked at Stella.

"Good, the usual," Stella shrugged before asking, "How's everyone?"

The events of this afternoon played in his head.

"The usual," Jack responded monotonously as both of them got in the car.

"Anything interesting happen while I was away?" Stella asked.

"Not much," Jack hesitated before saying, "Kim came back today."

"Kim?" Stella asked shocked.

Stella had been close to Kim in away. Kim had been like the older sister Stella never had. He knew that she knew that Jack had not seen or heard from Kim for a long while. Jack was well aware of his sister's concerned gaze. But honestly, he did not want to talk about it.

"So how's Paul?" Jack asked. It was an obvious attempt to change the subject. Both of them knew it was deliberate but Stella gave in.

...

"I have to go and get back to my apartment," Jerry said after their two hour long coffee. They had spent the entire time catching up and rattling on about unimportant things. Jerry had let Kim know about what some of their other friends in high school were doing. Grace was in UCLA finishing up her last semester while Juliet was still at Harvard, practicing to be a doctor.

And in return Kim had told Jerry about the college she went to, the various jobs she had gotten and her aunt Charlotte. Jerry could see some holes in her story, Kim would never touch any topic to deep and Jerry was smart enough not to insist about talking about something to Kim.

Jerry had also told Kim about what had happened in the past five years; Milton's research job at an elite company, Eddie's start to becoming a producer and even what had been going on with Rudy. The only subject they didn't talk about intentionally and was definitely the elephant in the room was a certain boy. They did touch on it though for only a few seconds where Kim just asked how Jack was and Jerry said he was alright. After that they changed the subject.

"Yeah, I should probably get back as well," Kim said as she looked at her watch.

"Where are you staying?" Jerry asked conversationally as they walked out of the shop.

"With my mom. There's so much to catch up on, so much we both missed," Kim replied.

The spring air around them cooled a little, after the rather sunny afternoon. Jerry turned to Kim.

"There is a party tomorrow at the Anderson residence for Stella, 6pm," Jerry stated.

He saw Kim's face and her voice sounded weary, "Are you sure that I should come. I mean he..."

Kim trailed off. Jack was not his biggest fan now. She saw the way he looked at her. There was a little anger in there and she honestly could not blame him. She would probably be angry too, if her best friend disappeared and came back only years later.

"He misses you," Jerry cut her off, "I know that it might not look like it but he does. I'll pick you up tomorrow and you can meet Candice."

Jerry saw Kim hesitate before nodding. She had a slight grimace in her face but otherwise was smiling. Jerry pulled her into a hug.

"This time if you ever leave, say goodbye," Jerry whispered.

"Okay," she replied softly.

...

"You did what?" Jack practically yelled at the person in front of him. He was at the kitchen, in his childhood house just after he picked Stella up. Jerry was standing in his kitchen about to take a seat at one of the chairs beside the kitchen counter.

"You heard what I said the first time," Jerry said before saying, "Hey Stella. How's the flight ?"

"I'm a little jet lagged but otherwise good. How's Candice?" Stella asked as she pulled out some soda cans from the fridge.

"Great," Jerry said much to Jack's irritation.

Jack turned Jerry so that they were facing face to face.

"Why did you invite her?" Jack practically demanded.

Jerry moved back a little before saying, "First, personal space man..."

Jack growled in irritation.

"Secondly, I invited her because she is my friend, and deep down inside your abnormally stubborn head, she is also still yours," Jerry said as he finished.

"I don't want her around," Jack said.

Jerry was he could see Stella roll her eyes as she passed him a drink can. Jack was almost whining like a five year old.

"Jack, she's coming," Jerry said in a way that left no arguments.

"Why is she even in town anyway?" Jack asked.

Jerry took a sip of his drink before replying, "She said she came back to make things right."

"What does that even mean?"

"Dude, you walked out of that dojo today. You knew very well that Stella could have taken a cab" Jerry turned to Stella "No offense" Stella just shrugged. "You could have stayed and let her explain but you didn't. I know you're mad but you will need to talk to her sooner or later... and I honestly don't want to see you try and avoid her when I know you miss her like crazy. So please, and I say this in the nicest way possible; behave tomorrow," Jerry said.

Jack looked indignant but under the looks he was receiving from his sister and Jerry he reluctantly agreed.

...

Kim walked into her childhood house. Her suitcases were all in the bedroom but her other stuff that were in boxes were still waiting to be unpacked. The house did not look at all different and her mom seemed to still keep things in the house just as they were back when Kim was in high school. That made Kim feel more comfortable and ease into the feeling that she was back where she needs to be.

"Mom, I'm back," Kim called out.

Her mom came out of the kitchen.

"How did it go?' was the first thing her mother asked.

Kim had after all told her mother about her plans for today. Kim shrugged and said, "As expected, I guess."

"Well, it's the first step," her mother said.

Kim had missed her mom a lot and although she had exchanged e-mails and calls and every once in a while her mom came to visit, it was not the same. She had missed her mom's comforting embrace and simple smiles.

"I missed you, you know," Kim said and was swiftly pulled into a hug

"I missed you too and I'm so glad you're back," Her mom said.

"I didn't want you to miss out too much," Kim smiled.

"And it seems as if I have missed out a lot," her mom said as her mother shook her head, "Come on, I made pasta."

Kim entered the kitchen, "Where's Austin?"

"Asleep," her mom said.

Kim nodded. The kitchen was quiet as her mom began to serve the pasta.

"Jerry invited me to the Anderson house for Stella's welcome home party," Kim said.

"And?"

"I said I'll go," Kim said.

Her mother turned around, "Are you going to tell him tomorrow?"

"No, but I will explain everything else," Kim said.

"That's not a lot you know," her mom said

"I know."

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><p>To clarify any doubts: Kim's mom knows what she was doing in the last five years and also knew that Kim was coming back. Candice is Jerry's girlfriend. Jack may seem really whatever but that would be how the story plays out, he is just a little mad that Kim never said goodbye. The story takes place in spring and Stella plays kind of an important role in the story.<p>

So what do you think of the chapter?


	3. Sober

A/N: Hey guys I am currently taking a break from my family vacation and typing this in my laptop (Don't you guys love me?). Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. You guys are awesome.

Also special thanks to lovinkickinit who gave me an idea to twist my story a little. And to all those who reviewed thank you so much, it means a lot to me.

Anyway chapter 3 is up and I just noticed that the other two chapters were part of song tittles. Can you guess what songs? Anyway drifting of topic, Enjoy...

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><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 3: Sober

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><p>There were a lot of things that Kim didn't want to do. There was participating in Milton's weird dorky battlefield game were she had to where a princess costume, there was tolerating superficial people who though she was only a pretty face. And there was the time she had to help Eddie do…Kim felt herself shuddering. There were a lot of things she did not want to do but this…This takes the cake.<p>

She was wearing a green cocktail dress and had wedged herself in high heels. There were a million things she rather be doing; relaxing, watching a movie, listening to Ricky Weaver songs (even though he was a jerk, his music is still catchy). Nevertheless, Kim was dressed and waiting for Jerry to pick her up where he would be driving her to Stella's welcome home party.

She did not know if she was ready to do this. Stella had a lot of friends, and add in the other people Jack knew, Kim knew she would be meeting old faces. People from her high school might be coming. What would they do when they see her? What would she do?

A horn blasted outside. Kim took a last look at her mirror before grabbing her purse and walking out the door. Jerry was in his car There was a girl in the front seat beside him. Kim quickly walked towards the car ad got in.

"Hey Kims, you look good," Jerry greeted from the wheel.

"Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself," Kim said sweetly.

"Kim, this is my amazing girlfriend Candice. Candice this is my honorary sister; Kim," Jerry introduced.

Kim was touched. She never had an older brother or someone like that (although she did meet a few over the years) Kim looked over at Candice. She was very pretty. Her hair was jet black and she had the most bluest eyes.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you," Kim said as she shook Candice's hands.

Candice looked a little surprise before shaking it off and saying, "It's nice to meet you." She then turned to Jerry, "You weren't kidding. I like her already."

Kim smiled. There was something about Candice that she could not help but like. Candice turned back to her and on began an easy flow of conversation. She thought it would be weird but, everything was normal. Neither Candice nor Jerry made her feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. Kim would go as far as admit that she was enjoying herself.

However all that vanished when Jerry pulled the car over and she was staring at the front steps of the Anderson residence. Jerry switched of the ignition and a silence loomed over.

"You know what, I think I'll walk home," Kim said breaking the silence.

"Nonsense," Candice said before getting out of the car and opening the car door for Kim.

Kim contemplated on walking again before clearing her face of any emotions. She was determined to make it through the night. She walked out and straightened her dress before taking a deep breath and nodding, "Let's do this."

…

The moment Kim walked through the door, Jack knew two things. One that she had the attention of everyone in the room and two it would be hard 'behaving '. Nevertheless he took a sip of his drink before promptly deciding that the best way to 'behave' was to not be around Kim, so he made his move to ignore her.

It was not easy. From where he stood he could see people going to Kim, all no doubt wanting to know where she's been and what she was doing. Kim answers readily. She had been living with her Aunt Charlotte (who knew Ant Charlotte was real) and she had been doing college and just around, enjoying her life. Jack heard her talk to people about the new hobbies she had taken up.

It was then Jack walked away and place himself where he could not see Kim but sometimes things just never go your way. Kim was the main topic of conversation that night despite it being a party for his sister Stella. There were a lot of question and answers to the happenings of Kim Crawford but the two that no one asked were the ones that he wanted to know the most. One: Why did she leave and two: why did she come back.

"Hey dude," Eddie greeted Jack.

"What's up," Jack said.

"Nice party," Eddie said as he looked around, "Very you."

Jack raised his eyebrows. The party was quite good in his opinion. There was a large crowd, people chatting enthusiastically, great music for dancing and easy flow of food and drinks. Lights like those in night clubs and…Eddie was right, it was very him.

"At least Stella is enjoying herself," Jack said as he raised his cup for another sip.

Stella was in fact enjoying herself. She was at the far corner of the room with several of her friends. She was animatedly talking to her friends and when she saw him look, Jack could have sworn she looked a little nervous before quickly turning back to her friends.

Jack grew confused. Why was Stella nervous? Jack thought back to the day before when he picked her up. Stella was being her usual bright, sweet and yet totally sarcastic self. Then he remembered when he so callously said that Kim was back. He had kept his eyes on the road and heard Stella's shocked voice that was laced with concern. Thinking back now, Jack realized that maybe it was not him she was concerned about. Stella had maintained her personality whenever he was around. She still made cheeky remarks but Jack remembered when Jerry went to talk to him. Stella did not say a word, very out of character.

Unless she was protecting someone that is. But who was or is she protecting?

…

Stella knew that Jack would eventually find out that she was keeping something a secret but she didn't plan that he would find out so quickly. She was chatting with her friends when she caught Jack's eyes. In an instant she was talking to her friends again. They were all talking about college or in other words complaining about college. Stella had missed her friends when she went abroad to study and was catching up on all of them. She was so caught up with all of them that the next time she looked away from her friends to the people in the room, her vision stopped at Jack who's eyes were narrowing suspiciously at her as if he was already on to her.

Keeping calm, Stella forced a smile on her face before telling her friends that she needed to get some air. She stood u from her seat and started walking. Not towards Jack but someone else.

The person looked startled by her appearance, which would not be much of a stretch as Stella knew the person was wondering why she was here. Stella gave Kim a hug and whispered softly in her ear so that no one could overhear.

"Jack knows I'm hiding something," Stella whispered.

Stella moved back from the hug to see Kim's eyes widen a fraction before the hard mask came on her face. The smile on Kim's face was fake but only Stella noticed.

"So how's studying abroad?" Kim asked loud enough for everyone else to hear. Stella launched on to th conversation.

…

Kim was panicking. That was simple enough to understand. She looked calm and collected with her outer appearances but her insides were frozen. She was grateful that Stella warned her. But now, she felt that her every move was being watched. Honestly, it wasn't that much of a stretch. Kim knew that they were people observing her every move, spinning in rumors and what nots.

She braved the front very aware that after the hug Stella gave her, she had to make conversation. She did not want to look to suspicious. She listened on to Stella talking about studying abroad before Stella's friends reclaimed her attention and Kim walked towards Milton.

"Salutations fair maiden," Milton greeted.

Kim smiled. It was a running joke back when she was in high school. The boys had teased her with that greeting during the school's medieval week.

"Hey Milton. Long time no see," Kim replied.

"Yes it has. Great party huh?" Milton said trying to play the part of a cool guy. Kim laughed. Milton had always been a little awkward at the parties Jack had thrown. He was a little out of his element. Kim or Eddie had always been around to smooth things over if ever Milton said something wrong.

"Yeah the best," Kim said playing along before asking him, "How is Juliet?"

"We took a break. Decided that the long distance thing was not working out," Milton said before adding in, "We still talk and are friends."

Kim closed her mouth, allowed a moment of silence before asking, "So you're okay with it?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Quit worrying mom," Milton teased.

Kim gave him a smile, "Only if you stop giving me reasons to worry."

"I want to go to the balcony for some air. The party is getting a little bit…" Milton trailed off, "Want to come with me?"

The party was getting a little too loud and stuffy for Kim too. People were making out on the dance floor and random corners. The room was reeked with alcohol.

"Sure," Kim said as her nose wrinkled at the boy who threw up just a distance away.

They walked to the balcony. It was far more airy there then in the room. There was also not many people around. In fact the only people there were going back to the party. Kim walked over to the ledge and let the cool air blow softly on her face. The night was still young but she was over the phrase of going out late even though she was only 23.

Kim closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax. Happy memories drifted around her mind. Milton's laughter brought her back to reality and she asked, "What's so funny?"

"I just remembered the time you tried to help me get ready for kissing Juliet," Milton said as he shook his head, grinning at that memory.

Kim felt herself laugh. It was amusing to look back at that episode where to get Milton over her fear of kissing, which was caused by kissing one of his old relatives in the mouth, she had to try several tactics. One of them was kissing Milton on the mouth before she notice Juliet saw it. Juliet was cool with it but did threatened her to stay away from her 'man'. They (Kim and Juliet were still friends and later on laughed about it when Juliet realized that Kim had no interest in Milton and her feelings for him were strictly platonic.)

"I miss Juliet, she threatened to hurt me if I ever made a move on you again," Kim said which brought a new round of laughter.

"I miss her too," Milton said.

They talked for a while before there was a comfortable silence, well maybe for Milton anyway.

"Why did you welcome me back so easily?" Kim questioned him softly. Milton, Eddie, Jerry and Rudy should be angry or mad at least.

"I don't know," Milton spoke up, "Maybe because I know it's just temporary."

Temporary? What was temporary? Kim wanted to ask but some people entered the balcony.

There was Stella who looked uncomfortable, Jerry, Milton and just behind all of them; Jack.

…

"What's going on?"

That was the first question that rose to Jack's lip. Jack saw Kim look at Stella in an expression he could not quite place. They were keeping something from him.

"Me and Kim were catching up," Milton said.

It irritated him that all of them welcome Kim back so easily, with open arms. As if all was forgiven. Jack could not help but get angry.

"Right cause everyone want to know all about Kimmy," Jack said, his voiced laced with venom.

"Jack," Jerry warned.

Jerry had wanted Jack to go the balcony to get some air, saying that he was drinking too much. Who knew that now Jerry was the responsible one while he was the one creating troubles.

"It's alright Jerry," Kim said, "I deserve it."

Jack glared at her before saying, "That's right. You do deserve it. So let's hear it. All the brilliant things about Kimberly Anne Crawford."

Jack could see Kim getting irritated. He knew he was provoking her but he could not help it. It was like he wanted her to lose it or something. That or the alcohol in him was making him more reckless than usual.

"I came back to make things right," Kim said trying to control her irritation.

"A little late for that," Jack said before looking around to everyone, "Well at least to me anyway."

"Stop it Jack," Stella murmured quietly. Nevertheless everyone heard.

"Why should I?" Jack said defiantly.

"Because none of us know the full story," Milton said.

"Let's hear it them. Kim?" Jack turned to her.

Kim came forward and said, "Stop being a jerk."

Instantly Jack felt guilty but controlled it nonetheless.

"You have no right to tell me what I can or can't be," Jack growled.

Kim placed her hand on his cheek. It was an old gesture that she did for him and Jack felt the guilt triple.

"Get sober Jack," Kim said in a resigned voice, "I'll tell you when you're ready."

With that Jack watched Kim walk away from him, the first time in his life not knowing if she was coming back. If she was, for the second time leaving him behind.

* * *

><p>Done.<p> 


	4. Never too late

A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you! For all the reviews. You all are awesome. I am officially back from vacation. I wanted to write up another chapter during my vacation, but well, I was too busy procrastinating, relaxing and having fun. And I want to make this chapter good, not bearable.

Special thanks to HattieGood , ilaabyahx3 , demi101 , KellyD.R , uniquemusician , deathprincess356 , kekemina and anyone else who had reviewed just in case I forgot you're names in there.

So anyway chapter 4 is up, A secret is revealed (not Kim's though), I added a character that we all know from one of the episodes but never saw. That character also plays a part in the story. And please don't be too mad at me at the end of the chapter with how the story works out. Remember this is just the beginning of the story.

enjoy…

* * *

><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 4: Never too late

* * *

><p>It started in high school. They were all friends, the five of them: Jack, Jerry, Eddie, Milton and Kim. Back then they could brush it off, ignore it, not notice the subtle changes that were tearing their group apart. Jack became the school's heartthrob, Jerry the school's bad boy. Kim was making her name as Miss Popular and Milton was burying himself in is studies. Sure, Eddie noticed all these qualities when they all first became friends, but over the months in high school, the effect tripled.<p>

They still did karate together at the dojo and hang around one another but there were other people pushing and tearing the group away. All of them had promised to always be friends. Years later, Eddie was standing at the balcony in Jack's house alongside with Milton, Jerry, and Jack's little sister Stella as Kim walked away. The silence she left was unbearable.

"Nice dude," Jerry glared at Jack before moving out of the balcony and calling out to Kim.

That left Eddie facing Jack, Milton and Stella.

"Don't say it," Jack warned before moving out to get another drink.

"I'll make sure to get him out of trouble and sober," Stella said.

"I'll help," Milton said.

Eddie watched both Milton and Stella disappear from view. Maybe it was because of the scene unfold earlier or the fact that he was alone in the balcony, but Eddie could not help but think back to the times when life was way simpler. He felt a little angry at Kim for leaving and was angrier at himself.

Because, Eddie had never told anyone this, but he saw Kim the afternoon before she left. He could remember it like it was yesterday. He was at the mall on the way to the dojo and Kim had just walked out of one of the girl's toilet in the mall. He didn't pay attention but if he did, he would have seen the fierce determination in her face. Eddie remembered walking up to her and she was startled by his appearance. He asked if she was going to the dojo and watched Kim shook her head and replied that she needed to be at home with her mom. If Eddie had pressed more on that issue, Kim would have lied and he would know what was going on. But he didn't. He nodded and watched her walk out of the mall and he made his way to the dojo.

That afternoon had hunted him, if he knew what was going on, he would have convinced her to stay and help her out just like the countless times Kim helped him out. Would all of them be exactly where they were five years ago?

Eddie didn't know. It was no use thinking of the what could have beens. So he did the next best thing. He took out his cell phone and scrolled down to the contact that he had rarely used but knew was part of this as he was and pressed the dial button.

The person he called picked up at the third ring, "Hello?"

…

Jack grabbed another drink. He was doing the opposite of what Kim had said but he rather be drunk. The party around him was still going on. There were still people making out and groping each other for the full view of anyone and everyone. His eyes moved all around but he could not see the sight the blonde hair that he was searching for.

If he was honest with himself, he did miss Kim and did want her back in his life. When Kim first left, he had made a point to go to Kim's mom every day of the first six months until he realized that Kim's mom would not tell him. He then went online at Kim's various social pages but Kim never updated. He tried asking anyone if had seen her but no one did.

He was glad that she came back, but when she did the memories that he had so desperately repressed burst out like a dam. He could still feel it like yesterday; all those tears, blame and guilt moving inside of him and consuming him fully. If he was honest with himself Jack would not blame Kim for leaving if she knew what he did, she must have suspected the mess and drama around him that she never wanted to be a part of. Another image entered his mind and Jack quickly took another sip. Kim had every right to leave, if she knew. But she didn't, so why did she?

He didn't want to believe that she knew but it was hard not to. Kim knew about him and now Jack was feeling more messed up than ever. He brought the bottle closer to his lips and chugged, trying as hard as he can to stop thinking and forget.

…

Kim was walking. She had managed to walk out of the party without anyone taking notice or her and had slipped pass Jerry who she knew was calling out to her. The night was breezy and the weather cold. It made Kim wish she wore a different dress or at least brought a cardigan.

She was walking to the direction of her home, feeling oddly deflated. She had wanted to tell Jack everything. But then Jack had to be an idiot and tried to provoke her into a fight. She didn't want to tell Jack out of anger and resentment but just the truth. That was what they had all deserved. She had wanted to sit him down alongside with Jerry, Milton and Eddie but it was obvious that that was not going to happen.

Kim walked pass house after house until she came stopped. She was facing her friend, Grace's house. It made her feel a pang in her heart. She had talked to Grace in a while. When she left, Grace was the only person that she contacted. They talked and converse but neither brought out any important things. She should call or text Grace, Kim thought before walking once again.

It was nearing 9.30 pm, which Kim though was rather odd as the party had seemed to go on for hours. She was glad that she finally got out of there. Being out here, she was able to relax a little. There was no one to watch her. The road was empty, no cars and very few people walking at the pavement.

"Kim," a voice called out.

Kim froze, recognizing the voice. Turning she came face to face with a person that she rather not see. The person who may not have caused it but was part of it.

"Long time no see," Kim replied.

'Yeah, it's been too long," Donna Tobin replied.

…

"So how did you find me?" Kim asked.

She was with Donna at a diner. Both of them had ordered coffee and were now looking at one another. Donna no longer wore her hair in a French braid, her hair was now short. Besides the hair cut Donna looked the same.

Kim didn't and never had hated Donna. She was a nice girl, friendly enough but with their past interlinked, Kim just needed to know how in the world Donna found her.

"Eddie called me. Said you were back in town," Donna said, "And I know that I need to talk to you."

Kim nodded when it looked like Donna was not going to say anything.

"So how have you been?" Kim asked politely, trying to start small talk.

"Kim," Donna said, "I know we were not exactly friends, but we were friendly. How about we just get into it?"

What Donna said was true. They were not exactly friends back then but they were always friendly, smiling and helping one another out whenever necessary. That was the basis of what they had. Asking and telling, nothing more than the truth. Whatever they had was more truthful than certain friendships Kim had in school. Yet they were merely acquaintances or more like school mates.

But she didn't want to just get into it. She rather avoid it. Every time she thought about it, tears started to form and she could feel her heart break over and over again. But she needed this. She needed the closure. Kim nodded, "Okay."

Donna took a deep breath and started, "I want to apologize, for everything. I know it won't change a thing but I am really sorry and I just really wanted you to know that."

Kim felt her insides squeeze. She knew this was what Donna was going to say. Could read it in Donna's face but it didn't mean that it hurt any less. She could feel a lump in her throat and her eyes begin to water. She looked away from Donna trying hard not to let Donna see how much those words affected her.

"I am also no longer with Jack," Donna added.

What? Kim turned back to Donna, with a questioningly look. After everything Donna and Jack had been through , how could they not end up together? They were high school sweethearts, for god's sake.

"Why? I thought he would have…" Kim trailed off.

"Married me?," Donna said, Kim tried not to flinch, "Took care of me? He would have but that is never going to happen."

Why? Kim didn't have to ask it out loud. Donna would have to explain to make it all clear. The fact that Donna and Jack were not together was puzzling her. He would have. There were all those reasons for them to be together in the first place.

"She died," Donna said quietly, "Stillborn. No one could have saved her."

"I am so sorry," Kim said understanding everything when Donna said the words 'she died'. Her heart reached out to Donna's.

"Jack would have taken care of me," Donna continues, "But I didn't want him to. He actually was willing to marry me when I was pregnant." Kim tried hard not to flinch "I am so glad that I told him to wait after the baby was born, I don't think I would have handled that."

Kim didn't know what to say.

"Maybe it was a blessing in disguise or something, that the baby died, I don't think I would want to live with the resentment," Donna said.

"Don't think like that. Jack would never resent you," Kim said, knowing her words were true.

"I know that you like him," Donna said making Kim speechless, "And I am so sorry for taking away that chance. You two would have been good together."

You two would have been good together. Yes they would have. Kim could already imagine their lives. They would have been happy. Got married. Build a life together…

"It doesn't matter now," Kim said. The lump in her throat would just not go away. What was the use of thinking of the life she could have had?

"Yes it does, at least to me," Donna insisted before asking, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Kim nodded her head.

"Thank you," Donna said.

It felt as if a great weight had been lifted. Was this how closure felt like? Kim didn't know why but she felt as if she needed to say this. She needed to be honest with Donna as well, "You weren't the only reason I left. Maybe part of it but not all of it."

Donna looked at Kim, who sighted and opened her purse and showed Donna something. Donna's eyes widened fraction before she laughed.

"Wow," Donna said, "He really messed both of us up, didn't he?"

"Yeah he did," Kim grinned and she could not help but add, "He was the school's heartthrob."

"In high school," Donna reminded her, "I remembered when I first talked to him."

"Yeah he was basically high during the karate practice at dojo," Kim shook her head.

At that moment the waitress brought them their drinks. Kim thanked the waitress before taking a sip of her coffee.

"So how have you been?"

The hard part was over. Now they could talk without a feeling of guilt in their way. They were both slowly recovering and repairing the bonds between one another. Who knows, maybe one day they might actually be friends. After all nothing is ever too late.

* * *

><p>AN: Don't kill me for what I did between Jack and Donna. I wanted to twist the story a little so, that was the end product. Secondly, I want to ask whether you all want Donna to still be I this story or not (The story lines are still the same either way) and thirdly, if you think that I gave Kim's secret out on this chapter, I didn't. I only gave a hint. I still feel like I don't want to give it up yet (and for that maybe I am evil). Hehehe…

Anyway chapter done. What do you think? Do you want to murder me? Hug me? Beat me up? Please don't except for the second one. The next chapter will be uploaded soon but don't expect it quickly cos I haven't even write it out yet. And once again thanks for all the reviews from the last chapters. Till next time :)


	5. Flashes

A/N: Thank you, thank you thank you for all the reviews. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was feeling a little of and then I am about to start a new school in a few weeks which is making me super nervous. Anyway, I know all of you want me to reveal's Kim secret but I felt like I need to write this chapter up first because I felt like it might be important later on and it might explain some things about Jack and Kim. Plus there are Jack and Kim moments in this, so it should be enough right.

Oh please take note that all this scenes are from their past but it may have relations to the story. I'm still trying to get my bearings on the story. I know what I want, but with every chapter I write, it's getting harder and harder as I have so many more ideas.

Anyways enjoy…

* * *

><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 5: Flashes

* * *

><p>"Promise me no matter what, we will always be best friends."<p>

Those words came out of Kim's mouth before she had time to stop them. It was stupid to say it out loud. They knew where they stood. Jack has and always be her best friend, and Kim knew that. But that didn't stop the fifteen year old from voicing her thoughts.

They were the only ones in the dojo. Training on dummies. Well to be more precise, Kim was stretching and watching Jack try a new move on a dummy. Rudy was trying to get the other three boys, away from whatever they were up to, to the dojo for practice.

Jack looked up from where he was and gave her a smile. It made her feel as if her question was not stupid, as if he did care that she wanted to be best friends no matter what happen That they would continue to support one another's choices regardless of what they thought.

As if no matter whatever happened years on, she would always have him.

"Promise."

…

"Jack!" Kim squealed.

It was her sixteen birthday. She wanted to celebrate it by just relaxing. Watching a movie at home with her closest friends. After all, she had been having a hectic week with cheer leading and the school news team. Jack, however, did the opposite of what she wanted. The backyard of her house was covered with decorations. There was a large cake and stack of presents. A DJ with a rather impressive system spinning some tracks. The whole school seemed to be there surprising her for her birthday.

Kim turned to Jack after her initial surprise. Jack had tried to put on a smirk but Kim could see he was grinning, clearly pleased that she was happy.

"I know it's not exactly what you wanted but happy birthday," Jack said as he pulled Kim into a hug. Kim did not even try to hide her smile. As soon as the hug started, it ended, as all her other friends started to claim her.

Kim's sixteen birthday was not at all what she wanted, it was so much better. She had danced the night away with everyone, talked with her closest friends and even saw her favorite cousin. It was a fun birthday in which her mom surprised her by getting her a brand new laptop. She was having a good time. During the conversation with her cousin, she sneaked a pick at Jack who had his arms around Heather Clark.

They have been dating for two months. Kim could see Jack smile as he dipped into kiss Heather Clark on the lips. It gave her a strange sensation. Something Kim never had experience before.

"You like him," her cousin said in a matter of fact voice that Kim had to roll her eyes.

"Of course I like him, he is my best friend," Kim said.

"That's not what I meant," her cousin replied, walking away before Kim could retort back.

Kim was left speechless. Jack was her best friend. She could not have feelings for him. That was unthinkable. Sure, there were always those movies and t shows that have best friends falling for one another but those were jut movies. Fake as in not real. Some of her friends teased her about Jack, but her feelings were strictly platonic. Right?

Kim shook her head getting rid of the thoughts. Tonight was not about revelations, it was about having a good time.

Soon, the party ended. Kim smiled and said her thanks as she watched the last of them leave and closed the door. She walked back to the backyard to see her mom and Jerry outside cleaning up. Milton and Eddie had to leave the party halfway while Rudy only stayed at the beginning of the party and Jack went to drive Heather Clark home.

"Thanks again for the party guys," Kim said to the two of them.

"We can't take full credit. Jack was the one who organized it," Kim's mum said, "I just allowed it. Happy Birthday sweetheart."

And with that Kim's mom pulled her into a hug. Kim hugged back before helping out on the cleaning. There were paper cups and plates everywhere. Tissues and streamers were scattered. It looked as if New Year's day threw up on her backyard. Kim started picking up the used paper cups.

Halfway through the clean up, Jack came back and started helping.

"Shouldn't you be at Heather's?" Jerry asked.

"Nah, her parents are home," Jack said before adding, "Plus I want to help out here."

Jack gave Kim a huge smile and Kim could not help but grin back.

…

"What happened?" Kim asked as she walked into Jack's room.

Jack's room was a little untidy. There were some clothes at the floor. His study table was filled with books and papers that he deliberately did not sort out or put back to his shelf. Kim could call him lazy but then again so was she. They were teenagers after all.

It had been four months after her sweet sixteen and Jack had been ignoring her calls, text and messages for the past two days. She tried to give Jack space but there was something that made her feel as if they needed to talk now and not put it off.

Jack was lying, facedown, on his bed mumbling something that Kim could not quite hear. The sixteen year old blonde decided that she had been patience with Jack enough and rolled him over so that she could see his face. Kim was so sure she was looking exasperated, irritated and worried all at the same time.

"Now, I ask again; what happened?" Kim repeated placing her hands on her hips.

"Heather," Jack said before groaning.

Kim kept quiet, knowing that Jack was going to explain. Jack and Heather had been fighting a lot lately, she never knew the topic of what her best friend and his girlfriend was fighting about but knew that it was something serious.

"She kept accusing me that I was seeing you secretly," Jack said before sitting up and looking at Kim straight in the eye, "I mean that's crazy right? You're like my best friend and we would never, you know, get together.

"Yeah," Kim agreed, trying to keep her voice steady.

In all honesty she was confused. Ever since her birthday, what her cousin said had been on her mind. Did she like Jack? Of course. But more than a friend? She was not sure. She was only sixteen. Who knows what love really is at sixteen? Sure she had her fair share of boyfriends over the years and had heard 'I love you' countless of times. But that could have been puppy love which does not count or infatuation. So in all honesty, she had no idea what Jack meant to her.

But it did put her off that Jack seemed to think that him and her would never work out. They were both stubborn as hell and they knew each other in and out. Well at least Kim thought they did. Was the idea of being with her that repulsive? Was she that gross or just too much of a friend for Jack?

"See, you agree," Jack said, obviously not noticing Kim's line of thoughts, "It's just so frustrating that she won't even trust me with you."

And as clearly as Kim could see it, the topic of the argument had been her. Was Heather really jealous of her and Jack. All they had was friendship, right? Kim let Jack vent on and on until she had to leave. She gave no advice knowing that all he need was someone to listen to. And besides, she had no idea on what to say anyway.

The next day in school, Kim received a text message from Jack: _I promised Heather that I would stay from you for one week . I'm sorry. _Kim frowned but nevertheless accepted it.

By the end of that week, Heather and Jack broke up.

…

After Heather, Jack didn't date for a while. Kim found that she was spending more time with Jack, if that was possible. Her mind tried to wrap around her thoughts and feelings. She felt that she should stay away from Jack until she knew exactly what she was feeling. Chances are someone would be getting hurt.

But she didn't. Everyday Kim got more and more confused, trying to battle out her feelings on the hours she was not with Jack. She still had no idea how she felt.

It was on one particular incident that changed everything.

She was sick with the flu. Her nose was runny and her eyes were puffy and she felt so horrible. Her mom made her stay in bed all day with no visitors so she was bored out of her mind. And then just 30 minutes later her mm went up to give her a package saying that it was from Jack. Kim opened it up and stared shock. Inside was the one movie she never told Jack about but watched it as a child, when she was sick, when she was bored or just when she wanted to. The last and only time she told Jack was when they first started becoming friends.

It honestly touched her that Jack remembered. Her sick week passed by quickly. Kim was walking to Jack's locker when she spotted him with Donna. Kim watched finally realizing the truth. She wanted a sort of claim on Jack and she did. He was her best friend. But anything above that was a little blurry. It was like jumping into a lake. You don't see the bottom of the lake unless you plunged in.

Whatever it was, she would have no chance plunging in now. Another girl had beat her to it.

* * *

><p>Done. Kind of short. I promise to make the next chapter longer<p> 


	6. Stay Burried

A/N: This is a very very important chapter and quite long as I promised where I revealed the secret! Gasp! I decided to take up some of the considerations and guesses from people who reviewed or PM me. I didn't want this to be just another cliché or predictable story but I guess it kind of is. Anyway I really still do hope you guys and gals still love and continue to read it.

You can skip the paragraph I just wrote but please read the A/N at the bottom. Anyway enjoy…

* * *

><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 6: Stay Burried

* * *

><p>Three weeks. It had been a week since Kim came home and two more since Jack's party. She had not seen or heard from Jack at all. And in all honesty she was exhausted. The two weeks flew by rather quickly for her. Maybe it was due to the lot of things she had to do. Most of them were paperwork which had her straining her eyesight for endless hours. But even then her mind had her so consumed with other thoughts. So Kim was glad when her mom asked her to do grocery shopping. It gave her time away from the desk and maybe distract her from her thoughts of a certain boy or was he now considered a man?<p>

The supermarket was located at the basement of the mall. It took one escalator trip and Kim found herself with a shopping cart, immersed in various products, trying to think only of the things in her shopping list. The grocery thing was working, her walking down isle after isle for whatever was on the list, until that is when she was at the condiments section.

As she grabbed a bottle of tomato sauce, she heard some kind of loud wailing. Turning around she saw a boy who looked about two years of age crying while the mother tried to soothe him out. The mother looked about her age. And Donna's. Was she (the mother) doing okay? Is she alone?

Kim's questions were answered when a man came round the corner and came to carry the boy. The boy stopped wailing in the man's arms and the man gave the mother a peck on the lips. It made Kim feel as if she was intruding on an intimate moment. The look in the man's eyes as if he was the luckiest man in the world. They were one big happy family. The parents were around her age and happy.

She was not even married yet.

Kim straightened up and walked away, nothing can distract her from her thoughts now.

…

-FLASHBACK-

It was quiet. Kim knew that no matter what it would stay quiet until she open up her mouth and word started spilling out. But what was she going to say? That she was drowning? That she could not take it? That the past would never stay buried?

The woman in front of her kept quiet waiting for her. The last time she talked and Kim tried to listen, now the tables were turning. If Kim spoke, she would risk it all, risk everything that she had been trying to repress. Risk losing everything she tried so hard to keep. But if she didn't it would destroy her so completely that she would lose it all anyway. Either way she would lose.

A small picture caught her eye. It was concealed but Kim knew it was the picture of the woman and her family. As far as she knew, the woman was not married or seeing anyone, no children. How in the world was this woman suppose to save her? She had no idea where Kim was coming from.

And yet that picture brought out the reasons why she needed to speak in the first place. The first words she said to her therapist was, "I feel so lost."

…

"That will be 72.95" the cash register person said.

Kim gave her a few notes. Her grocery was in three brown paper bags and waited for the change. Giving a smile to the cashier, Kim took all three bags. They were heavy and she had to grip hard so that she would not accidentally drop any of them.

She made it all the way to the parking lot of the mall when the worst thing that could possibly happen, happen. She bumped into someone. Or more like that person and her just bumped into one another. One of the bags fell and the contents fell out.

"Sorry, here let me help you," a familiar voice said. Kim looked to see that it was none other than Jack and Stella.

"Hey," Kim said softly.

Kim watched as Jack who was picking up her bag, look at her. His eyes widen a fraction before he said, "Hey."

Stella remained quiet and Kim saw her sneak away from the corner of her eye, no doubt giving the both of them privacy.

"Here let me bring this over to your car," Jack offered.

Kim nodded and led the way to her car. The moment was awkward for both of them, but Kim had already decided that she and Jack needed to talk. She just kept putting it off. Kim heard Jack whistle as her red convertible came into view.

"Nice," Jack approved eyeing the car.

"Thanks," Kim said as she placed the groceries at the back seat of the car. Before turning to Jack once again, "Thanks again for helping."

"It was the least I could do," Jack replied.

Kim could not contain her sigh and quickly asked, "Are you going to the Pirate's Feast?"

The Pirate's Feast was an annual event held at the community hub. There would be games, food, concerts and prizes. Back when they were kids, Kim and Jack alongside with Jerry Eddie and Milton went every year. Not many people from their school showed up which gave them an excuse to goof off, not that they need an excuse in the first place.

"Yup, everyone's coming, except for Stella, she is going over to her friends," Jack nodded, "Are you?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Kim smiled, "Maybe I'll see you there."

"Maybe."

Kim watched Jack give her a small smile and nod before walking away. They were not friends yet but they were repairing their bonds at least.

…

-FLASHBACK-

Stella knew before Jack. But it was entirely coincidental. She was there visiting her friend before heading of abroad for college. At first she did not recognized Kim. She remembered bumping into someone when she turned the corner and turned around to apologize. But when she did her mouth hung open and she croaked out, "Kim?"

Kim turned quickly and saw Stella. Stella saw Kim's eyes widen with fear and alarmness. It was then Stella took in everything. Kim had changed a lot. Her eyes were small and exhausted looking, she looked too pale and her lips were cracked and then there was something else. It took only seconds for Stella to know exactly why Kim was the way she was at that moment.

Kim looked weak and yet Kim gripped Stella's hand fiercely and said in a voice so full of determination, "Don't tell Jack."

All Stella could do at the moment was nod. It was later after the shock subsidized that she started asking Kim.

…

The day of the Pirate's Feast quickly came and Kim decided to throw caution at the wind. If by the end of the day, she and Jack were alright, she'll tell him everything. Every detail of what had happen over the past five years and why she left in the first place.

Kim drove her mom and Austin to the community hub. Austin was wearing a pirate costume that Kim's mom had made for him. Kim's mom herself was dressed up in a long sleeved dressed like the ones that people used to where centuries ago. The community hub was filled with children and adults alike. Some had decided to dress up like Kim's mom and Austin, other's decided to here normal clothing like Kim. Kim watched as Austin and her mother disappeared out of view.

She looked around and spotted Stella alongside the others beside a game booth. Jerry and Eddie were playing while Milton, Stella and Jack were watching in amusement.

"Hey Kims," Stella said as she pulled Kim in for a hug.

"I thought you were going over to your friends?" Kim said turning to Jack questioningly.

"Cancelled," Stella said as she pulled out of the hug."

"Oh," Kim nodded before turning to Jerry and Eddie, "Hey Jerry, Hey Eddie"

The boys in question only grunted, their eyes locked on the game they were currently playing. Kim shook her head amused, no matter how old Jerry and Eddie were they would always have intense competition against one another. It reminded her of the time where they were literally having a food fight (both of the dressed as food) and started a rap battle. Kim turned to Milton, Stella and Jack.

"Salutations fair maiden," Milton said bowing.

"It's not medieval week in school Milton," Kim said.

"There were pirates in ancient times."

Kim rolled her eyes but could not help but smile. It was a typical Milton Krupnick answer. Kim turned to the last person she has yet to greet. Suddenly the weight of her decision came into her mind, what was she doing? Did she really want Jack to know? Even if he did deserve to know? How was the aftermath going to be?

"Hey Jack."

Kim knew her voice was softer and she wondered what Jack thought of it.

"Hi"

Jack said it just as softly. His brown eyes were somewhat confused. Did he see exactly how much she was calculating, how so many of the emotions that she tried to keep under wraps were threatening to break out? Kim could see Jack wanting to say or ask her, maybe. But she was saved by Jerry who chose this moment to yell out.

"Uh huh! Oh yeah! I owned you man," Jerry yelled, his arms in the air with victory while Eddie looked a little disgruntled

"Whatever dude," Eddie said looking as if he wanted a rematch.

"Even now he still acts like a child when he wins a game," Milton said as he shakes his head while the others watched Jerry do a victory dance in front of Eddie.

Kim shakes head before Jerry greets her in a hug, "Hi Kims"

"Hey. Where's Candice?" Kim asked as she looked around.

"She had to go to work today," Jerry answered.

"Oh that's too bad."

"Well, whatever. People let's have fun," Stella interrupted.

…

It was weird to be hanging around Kim once more after five years of nothing. Jack was, strangely, having a good time. There were so many booths of games and food. He remembered coming here when Kim first left hoping that Kim would come. It was traditional after all coming to the feast.

The disappointment he got when he realized that Kim was not going to show up. It was hard, but he kept coming every year, hoping that maybe Kim will and now five years later, here he was with Kim. It felt like they were teenagers once again. He could put rest all of his problems for a while and just have fun. It was nice not to think.

Jack followed as Jerry, Stella, Kim, Milton and Eddie moved to different booths for games and food. It bugged Jack more than it should when Jerry won a beaded bracelet and gave it to Kim. Sure the bracelet was not at all that expensive but still it bothered him. Jack knew he was blowing this out of proportion, Jerry had Candice but that did not contain that he might be a little jealous that Kim allowed him to do little things for her like open a door or ruffle her hair.

Jerry was after all practically still like her brother. And that was when Jack realized why it bothered him. Jerry was on more nicer terms with Kim and even though that was partly his (Jack) faults. Where did he stand with Kim now? They were once best friends before they became estranged and then there was the yelling and paying nice. And then there was the endless chasing beating around the bush. Where did he exactly stand with Kim?

Even after all these years, nothing much had seemed to change between them or her. Kim was almost the same, there were of course differences. Like the fact that she no longer played with her hair that much. Then there was the fact that she was so open and yet wary and on guard. And in that retrospect maybe he was exactly like Kim. He was open too but the walls were always up. Jack shook his head and focused on the game he was playing.

The Pirate's Feast day passed by quickly. Any stray thought on Kim or himself was brutally ignored. Jack was having too much fun to psychoanalyze whatever it was. He and Kim even got to talking. Jack learned that Kim just got her degree in journalism and was now moving into getting a job at various newspaper companies. She was also temporarily living with her mom before getting an apartment of her own nearby. In return Jack told her about the part time degree and full time job he had.

Jack almost believed that the Pirate's Feast was going to end on a good note, just like the years before when the most unlikely and unexpected thing happened. The group (Jerry, Milton, Stella, Eddie, Kim and himself) was walking towards a food booth near the children's pit, to get a drink when a streak out light yelled and flung himself towards Kim.

Jack looked at the boy's face, his mind going into shock. Jack turned to Kim.

* * *

><p>Okay chapter done and quite a long one it is. Was it good? Bad? Predictable? How will all of them react? What will the characters do?<p>

Anyway this is the part where I let you guys decide part of how the story goes. Yes, Kim has a kid (might or might not be Austin) but was he:

a) adopted

b) or her own kid. and if it was hers, do you want Jack to be the father or someone else ( Brody [that guy from the Wrath of Swan episode], Truman, Ricky, Frank even, note I'm just listing down names).

And for those who think that I didn't reveal or explain much, I was saving it for the next chapter. Maybe I'll add more stuff if the story is sort of predictable. Anyways till then:)


	7. Our Past

A/N: Damn, this was quite a long chapter to write. From the previous chapter I basically asked you're opinion before my mind came up with a brilliant twist (prepare to not see that one coming next chapter). So I'm currently writing the chapter where you guys and gals will see Jack's reaction and Kim explain it all. So you guys will have to wait. I'm still holding a few things back.

Another thing is, I just started school. I'm currently in my third week and it was busy (I had orientation week which was basically all day, every day for 1 week) that was why I didn't have time to update. I will try my best to update whenever I'm free. But to all my loyal readers; I'm a busy girl. LOL

The next thing, you know that guy from Wrath of Swan episode? Brody? I decided I liked him enough to include him in the story. So he will be included in the story starting from this chapter. This chapter is a flashback chapter. I repeat in capital letters. THIS IS A FLAHBACK CHAPTER.

Anyway enough of the author's note, oh one more thing thanks for all the reviews! Enjoy…

* * *

><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 7: Our Past

* * *

><p>"You know staring is rude," a voice said from behind the seventeen year old.<p>

Kim jolted and turned around to see Brody. He was his signature easy smile. Kim knew him from school but it was during what could only be described as the dance fiasco did they established their first proper communication. Sure at that time Brody was a Black Dragon, he still is. But after that whole fiasco he apologized and Kim accepted it.

They started an easy going friendship that soon rivaled the one she had with Jack. Brody was just that type of guy. The guy you just can't help but like. Kim knew that Jack didn't like the friendship she developed with Brody. It also did not help that Brody lived just a couple of houses down from hers and was she and him were constantly going to school and back home together unless she had practice.

Kim had assured Jack that Brody was just a friend and even teased Jack that he (Jack) would always be her best friend. But now as Kim looked at Brody, it seems like she was closer to Brody than Jack.

"I am not staring," Kim mumbled before looking away from him and into her lockers, "Was it really that obvious?"

"To me, but you know how observant I am," Brody said in a superior voice that caused Kim to roll her eyes. Kim peeked to where she was staring at before Brody called her out. She could see Jack and Heather arguing. Kim heard Brody sigh, "Crawford."

"Why is it that you know my last name and I have no idea what yours is?" Kim asked trying to distract Brody.

"Kim."

"What?" She said is a resigned voice. She could see where this was going. They had this argument countless of times. Each one ending with one of them dropping it or changing the topic but never settling the argument.

"He is an idiot you know, for doing this to you," Brody said. Of course Brody knew about Jack asking her to give him some distance to sort things out with Heather last year. Kim was doing fine but Brody was watching her like a hawk as if she was going to break anytime soon.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kim said.

Brody gave her a leveled look before saying out the blunt truth, "Going out with other girls when he obviously likes you. I mean even Frank could see it, and you know how dim witted he is."

The Frank part was for her humor. Frank was not the brightest kid, he was now, what, in his twenties and still in high school? But the rest of what Brody said etched into her mind. Heather arguing was Jack was quite normal. Their breakup was rather messy and bittersweet. Of course their arguments were slowly diminishing. This was their only argument in a few months.

"I don't feel that way about him," Kim said before correcting herself mentally she did not have any idea how she felt.

"Keep telling yourself that Crawford," Brody said.

Kim glared at him before replying, "What about you and that girl you have as a partner for chem. Whats-her- name…Sarah?"

Kim had the amusement of watching Brody turn a shade pinker. There were not many things that made Brody blush, Sarah happened to be just one of them that Kim knew.

"Shut up," Brody mumbled before speaking more clearly, "Do you have Dojo after school?"

"Yes, but I don't feel like going. We'll see," Kim said as she closed her locker. The school bell rang and Kim made her way to her next class with Brody. The Jack thing was dropped just like every other time. They were talking about easier topics.

…

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late," Kim said as she rushed into the dojo and straight into the girls changing room. Kim expertly changed into her karate clothes quickly before going out to the practice area. She placed her stuff at a nearby bench before searching for her water bottle.

The boys plus Rudy were already practicing.

"So why were you late?" Milton asked.

"I had to sort something out with Brody. We got partnered up for our class project," Kim said as she took her water bottle out and took a gulp.

"What project?" Eddie asked.

"Miss Darbuson's," Kim said as she started stretching.

"Miss Darbuson's? Good luck, you're going to need it," Milton said.

"Why?" Kim asked curious, "I thought that the project outline is relatively simple…"

"But doing it isn't, trust me," Eddie cut her off, "I got partnered up with Milton when we had that class. We started earlier than anyone else but we still had so much to do. I even had to sleep over at Milton's for the weekend just to complete it."

"Well it's a good thing that Brody lives near me I guess," Kim said, "He only needs to walk a couple of houses."

"I didn't sleep Kim, I stayed up all night," Eddie said before muttering something about Milton's dictatorship.

"Oh, I guess my mom would be okay with Brody staying over," Kim said still planning about the project.

"Yeah, yeah, Can we stop talking about Brody and get to practice," Jack said.

The matter was dropped as they began practicing. Kim could see that Jack was trying hard not to show how much the idea of Brody staying over at her house just for a project bothered him. She might have forgiven Brody but Jack didn't. It was a stupid prank designed to embarrass her. But even if she was covered in chocolate she would have just laughed it off and have fun.

But in Jack's eye it was unforgivable, which she thought was stupid.

"You going home?" Jack asked Kim.

It was after practice, Kim had just finished gathering her stuff and zipping her bag.

"Yeah," Kim replied.

"Walking home with Brody?" Jack asked. Kim pretended not to hear the venom in his voice.

"No, he's training late. He has that upcoming competition," Kim replied.

"Oh."

"So, who did you get partnered up with?" Kim said.

She and Jack had the same classes just at different timings. The only time they ever saw each other in school was during lunch and English, well they see each other at the hallways but those don't count.

"Heather."

Ah. That was why they were arguing just now. And then Eddie's words were brought to mind. Would she be alright if Jack and Heather stayed up late together? The thought made her feel funny. Jack and Heather were capable of anything. They were once voted cutest couple in junior year.

"Oh"

"So you want to grab a burger?" Jack asked as they went out of the dojo.

"Nah, I think I'm just going home. See you tomorrow," Kim said before walking away, her mind troubled.

…

"You have got to be kidding me," Kim said as her voice shocked. She was staring at Brody, watching to see if he was bluffing but she could see he was telling the truth and was very amused at her reaction.

"It's true," Brody said, a laugh in her voice. Kim tried to picture it but she couldn't.

"You used to have an afro," Kim repeated, she did not believe it. Brody's hair was nowhere near an afro now, "What did you do to deserve that?"

"Hey for your information, I looked quite alright," Brody said.

Kim snorted. She was at a booth at phalafel Phil's with Brody. She was originally alone, waiting for Jack, who was almost an hour late. Brody showed up a while back and decided to keep her company.

"Fine I looked weird," Brody said giving in. He then looked at his watch, "So how long have you been waiting for him. I've been here about 15 minutes."

Kim knew Brody was about to talk, but in all honesty she really didn't want it today. She was exhausted enough, "Can we just talk about something else?"

"Like what?" Brody asked.

Kim was thankful that he allowed her that, "I don't know. Anything I guess….Oh! Have you received any acceptance letters?"

Graduation was catching up on them. She had been drafting and sending so many applications and she was not the only one. Grace, Juliet, Milton, Eddie and even Jerry. Every senior was doing it. The past week she had seen people receive news that they got into their dream school and others in tears wondering where to go on from there (they were the ones who received rejection letters.)

"Yeah, NYU and Yale," Brody said.

"Wow, congratulations," Kim said her mouth practically open.

"I got one other acceptance, it's my dream school. You know I applied to Yale just for my grandfather. Anyway this school is amazing but I will have to graduate earlier," Brody said sharing his dilemma.

"Go for it," Kim said, "It's good for your future."

"But is it good for me right now?"

"I'm not sure I'm following you," Kim said. The way Brody phrased it confused her a little. Wasn't getting accepted to where he yearned to go good for him now?

"I know that it will be good for me in the future, but I just don't want to miss out on now. If I accept it I will miss not only graduation but prom and the rest of my senior year. I don't know if I want that," Brody explained. He looked so torn that Kim yearned to reach out and comfort him.

"I can't pretend to know what you're going through but I can try to understand. Just choose whatever that feels right for you."

"Thanks,"

So if you do accept, when will you have to go there, by when I mean?" Kim asked

"In a month," Brody replied before changing the subject to her, "So what about you? Have you got any acceptance letters yet?" Brody asked.

"NYU," Kim said, "I should receive word about the others sometime next week."

"Maybe I should just go to NYU, we could become dorm mates," Brody smirking a little at the idea. Kim laughed it off. It would certainly be fun 'living' with a friend but in no way would that ever be possible. Brody would probably go to Yale or his dream school.

Still she entertained him with that idea, "We could stay up late all night. And I won't need to go looking around for a spar partner," She said excitedly.

"Don't forget all the stupid routines we could still do and the things the weekends would have for us," Brody added. His words painted a pretty picture. She would have a friend at some unknown part of her future. But she quickly shook her head. No use mixing fantasy with reality.

"I'm going to miss you, you know?" Kim said breaking a comfortable silence they created.

"Yeah, I know."

Kim rolled her eyes but could not help the small grin in her face. Trust it to Brody, to be overly cocky.

"I'll miss you to and you know it," Brody said.

Kim looked at him and out of nowhere both of them laughed. It was quite amusing to watch both of them act all sentimental and emotional. The door of phalafel Phil's open and in rushed a sweaty and re-faced Jack.

"Hey Kim, I am so sorry I'm late," Jack said before he noticed Brody, "Brody."

"Jack," Brody said before stepping out of the booth and facing Kim, "I better go, see you around."

Kim nodded and smiled, watching Brody walk out before facing Jack, "So how come you're late."

"I got caught up in something"

"Fell asleep?"

"Pretty much," Jack grinned sheepishly.

"Well, you're an hour late so let's get this started," Kim said as she opened her binder.

…

"Jack we need to talk"

Kim cringed. Those words were not something anyone wanted to hear let alone with an audience. Kim was now in all fours, beside the dumpster trying hard to hold her breath and not inhale the foul stench from the dumpster. She was she could see Jack's and Donna's shoes. They had no idea she was hear and she in all honesty did not want to be there. But she could not move without giving her position away. Donna had obviously thought that this was where she would not be overheard, guess she got that part wrong.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm…I'm pregnant," Donna finally stammered out.

Kim felt her heart accelerate. There could only be one reason, Donna needed to tell Jack.

"You're the father."

And just like that her heart stopped. She wanted to come out and do something; hug and tell him it's going to be alright or scream her head off for not only ruining his future but Donna's. And yet both were inappropriate.

Someone she knew got pregnant when they were a teenager. She used to scorn and said those girls who got pregnant when they were teenagers were such idiots. Giving up everything for just being physically intimate with a guy who might not, in the long run, love them enough to stay with them.

It was pathetic.

But she could not bear to say those words now. Donna was usually such a careful girl, how could she have gotten…Kim could not even think of it. As if this moment was designed for her to listen she could see her future in one clear vision while Donna and Jack's would be sacrificial. She knew Jack was going to take care of Donna with his hero complex and all.

Her future was completely free, she could be selfish and work on her while they would need to put their child as priority. Their child. Those words were a stake through her heart. It finally dawned on Kim that she will never ever get to explore her feelings with Jack. She was sure she felt something for him but what was the use now?

Her eyes burned. Why the heck was she crying? She still had a future. Yeah but is it the one you wanted a voice whispered venomously in her ear. She did not hear the rest of Donna and Jack's conversation. She was crying, for Jack, for Donna. And for herself. Any girl, Kim reasoned, would be crying if they found out that they would never had a chance guy that they might actually love.

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><p>Done. Okay a lot of you might ask what's the point of this chapter, why am I 'coupling up' Kim and Brody in this me it will all work out, Anyway I really have to go to sleep now, I have to wake up early to prepare for school (I have a morning lecture). Till next time :)<p>

Oh! Apologies if there is any errors in spelling or grammar. I was sort of in a rush. Hehe


	8. Loaded

A/N: Okay a few things to take note of before you start:

1)The previous chapter was a flashback chapter

2)Donna and Jack did have a baby, but the baby died

3)Brody and Kim were close but weren't dating

4)Kim had a child (previous, previous chapter) but you know I can twist the story which was exactly what I did

Okay done, I'll explain everything else at the end of the chapter. Thank you to all my loyal readers, I know I haven't been updating much: due to school. So thanks for those of you who still haven't gave up on this story. You guys are awesome and this is for y'all. Enjoy…

* * *

><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 8: Loaded

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><p>If Kim looked back, she could pin point the exact moment when she knew her fate was sealed. It was the moment she met Tyler Priston. Or to be more precise the moment she and Abigail Cavanagh met Tyler Priston.<p>

Abigail and Tyler had a somewhat fairytale love. Girl meets boy, boy meets girl. They fall in love and get married. Of course they had their differences and arguments but it was nothing they could not sort out. Tyler and Abigail, to Kim, were the perfect couple. Nothing stood in their way. It was over time did Kim realized that the perfect couple was not so perfect. There were many flaws in their love but they always moved on from it. There was just one that Kim knew was immensely difficult to move on from but they managed it with her help.

It was not that strange that, now when Jack was staring at her, his face so shocked and confused, did they come into her mind. Jack may have been her best friend at one point but Abigail and Tyler; she would do anything for. Her mind should be strong, Kim after all thought this was a possibility (that everything was going down today, she was bringing Austin when Jack was going to be there after all) but her mind was more like an organized mess.

Kim could see her mom rushing towards her. Ignoring her audience (Jack, Stella, Jerry, Eddie and Milton) she turned to Austin who in the moment reminded her so much of Abigail and Tyler and said, "Why don't you go off with grandma."

Austin nodded and removed himself from Kim's arm and launched himself to Kim's mom. Kim's mom then whispered, "I'm going to take Austin home. Good luck."

Luck. Kim didn't know if she believed in luck. She longed for a miracle but she knew that she was in a sinking ship. Kim watched her mom and Austin leave before turning to address her audience.

"Stella you handle Milton, Jerry and Eddie," Kim said knowing those words would hurt Jack, "I'll explain it to Jack."

"Tell them everything?" Stella's question sounded like a statement.

"Everything," Kim confirmed. She watched once again as the last of them leave.

…

Jack's brain was in a whirl. He was confused, agitated and he did not do those things well. He did them as well as people bossing him off which he knew he did not.

"Stella you handle Milton, Jerry and Eddie," Jack heard Kim say.

That was like a blow in the stomach. Stella knew and deliberately kept it away from him. It was probably the reason why she had been so secretive. How could his own family do this? To him of all people?

"I'll explain it to Jack."

Explain it to him? Kim owed him more than an explanation, she owed him everything. He felt as if he wasn't able to speak. Ideas and theories began swirling in his head. That boy had Kim's eyes. He knew brown was a very general eye color, most people had them. But he also knew that the boy, who looked roughly like he was four years old, had Kim's brown eyes. He didn't know how he just did. If Jack was not thinking that hard or was able to pass his shock, he would have realized that Kim was pulling him into a nearby coffeehouse. Kim pulled him into a booth and sat him down before sitting down opposite him.

He could see Kim calculating and thinking hard. Maybe to what she was exactly going to say to him. How she messed up her whole life.

"Don't judge or jump to conclusions, hear the explanation first," Jack finally heard Kim say before looking into his eyes and saying, "You're judging ."

That simple sentence broke his silence or shock or whatever it was, "Well what am I supposed to do?"

"Let me explain"

"Is that why you left? God Kim how stupid can you be. You just ruined you're whole life…" Jack started to rant but was cut off by Kim.

"I didn't ruin my life Jack! Shut up and just let me explain okay," Kim said before taking a deep breath to calm herself. She let out her breath with a heavy sigh and said, "There is so much more to this story than you know. Firstly he is related to me but he is not mine…."

Not Kim's? But then how…

"…His real parents were Tyler and Abigail Priston…."

"You mean…"

"My cousin," Kim said looking at Jack in the eye, "They were looking for a baby and someone to make the baby."

"I thought you said…" Jack started to argue. He knew Kim was dumbing it down for him and although he was irritated at that point he needed to know that she did no loose her…

"Stop, Let me explain, okay?" Kim said looking at Jack in the eye. Jack was surprised at the intense gaze. He watched as Kim took a deep breath and began speaking once more, "Anyway I was living with my Aunt Charlotte by then. They came by and asked if I would help with the baby. They needed an egg as Abigail's ones weren't strong or kept dying off or something…."

Jack felt himself internally relax, a little. The question he had been dying to know was answered. Kim had not left town, five years ago because she got pregnant.

"…They would pay everything. There was the problem of me being a minor and everything but that was settled when I turned eighteen. Kim said before pausing and playing with the bracelet on her hand. She took a second before continuing in a softer voice, "Abigail carried him for eight months when the worst thing that could possibly happen happened. Brad got into a car accident. Brad died instantly and Abigail was in shock."

"The shock was not good for her or the baby. When time came for the baby to come, there were complications and Abigail got into a coma…"

By the end Jack had to strain his ears to catch what Kim said. Wow. Now he felt like a jerk for the way he was treating her.

"Once the baby was born, I became a wreck. Brad's will stated that if anything happened to him or Abigail I was in charge of him…"- at this point Kim's voice began to get louder… "I was in charge of him! I don't know how to take care of a kid, I barely just got out of that stage!" Jack could feel her trying to control her hysteria.

"I was feeling so alone and empty so I started doing so much more .. unappealing things," Jack heard Kim phrase out the words carefully. His heart started to beat faster. What did she meant by unappealing? "And I was on a downwards spiral when my aunt drew out and said that I had to get straightened out. Not for me but for Austin."

By the last few words, Kim's voice drew soft and she stared at the bracelet she was wearing. Jack felt loss for words. What do you say to that? What would anyone say to that? Kim had just went through hell and she never told him until now. Jack felt the urge to wrap her in his arms and protect her even though she did not need it anymore. Jack kept silent, not knowing what to say when Kim tilted her head to look at him. Her voice was so soft and yet it carried of her emotions, "They made me godmother you know. Aunt Charlotte still keeps on the life support in hope that Abigail will wake up."

Maybe it was the way Kim phrased those words but the next few words that came out from Jack's mouth without him realizing the full extent of the what was meant by his words, "Kim, I am so sorry. I'll help you out with Austin and…"

"I didn't come back for help or the money," Kim spat out when she interrupted what Jack was saying. Jack had to hide the shock at the sudden fire in her eyes. There was so much fierceness and pride, "If that's the kind of person you think I am then you are sadly mistaken. Do you think I want the money? Or any guy to become a father figure for Austin? I came back to make things right, if not for me, for Austin."

Jack felt as if he just put his foot in his mouth and wanted to apologize. But Kim didn't seem to stop she kept on talking, "I left town five years ago not because you got Donna pregnant or so I could help Tyler and Abigail, it was because I needed some space away from you. We both made a lot of mistakes in high school, but did you know any of mine?"

"It seems like I was always there for you and you weren't for me. Do you know how hard it was to hear that you got Donna Tobin pregnant? By the time graduation was coming I wanted out. I didn't even recognize you as a person I even wanted to be around," Kim said.

And then there was silence. Jack felt himself grow small. Kim left because of him. Because he messed up. Looking back Kim was spot on in what she was saying. He could remember her being there for the Heather crap, forcing him to study for mid-terms, even his mini breakdown along with several other things but he... Jack could remember not making it for her events, even the ones that didn't mean that much to her.

He was such a pathetic best friend. No wonder Kim became closer to Brody. And just like that jealousy flared up in him. Brody was just as much in the dark as he was but Jack always felt that Brody was more well informed about Kim then he was.

Jack heard Kim take a deep breath and let out a sigh before looking at him the eyes, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I have to go."

"Before you go, does he know?" Jack said quietly, observing Kim.

Kim closed her eyes and nodded before saying, "Yes."

…

Kim walked out of the coffee shop feeling rather weird. There were so many emotions that were bubbling inside. She had finally told Jack everything…Well not everything, the therapy sessions and other minute details were for another time. Now she had to keep her emotions in check.

She felt a little breathless and light as if she just released a heavy weight and yet there was a significant amount of guilt dropping into her stomach. But the emotion that seemed to be overclouding everything else was pride.

Did Jack honestly think she came back for money and his help? She knew Jack had money but she would have never accepted it even if he offered. Then there was the fact that Jack thought she needed someone to help her with Austin. Sure, Kim wanted someone to be a father figure towards Austin. But did Jack honestly think that he was cut out for it? He had so many things in his past that could affect Austin.

She didn't want to sound mean but she knew Jack still had unresolved issues with the hold Donna and the baby thing. She wanted Jack to be stable before he entered Austin's life. Because right now, actually right since Tyler and Abigail, Austin was her main priority.

Nothing would ever change that, not even Jack.

And then there was one last thing that messed Kim's feelings up even more. It was the question that Jack asked just before she left. 'Does he know' replayed in her mind. Kim wasn't stupid, she knew Jack was referring to Brody. But why did she practically have to force herself to say that Brody knew before Jack? Because the truth was she had been lying when she said Grace and Stella were the only ones that she maintained contact. She maintained contact with Brody ever since she left.

* * *

><p>AN: Done. Finally…Sorry again for the long wait. Some of you have been asking me to make Jack/Brody the father, but that kind of storyline has been overused in my opinion, so I changed it up instead. I didn't want Kim to get pregnant cause she is a smart girl. As for the Jack/Brody thing. I'm not sure who Kim would end up with. When I first started this fanfic I was so sure of what I wanted, but then every chapter brought me to a different direction. If you want Brody in this story say so and I'll add him in. If not, then okay. I'll take in you reviews and what not's into consideration but I will go with what I think the story needs.

So enough with me, if I haven't explain enough, PM me or leave a review, I'll answer. Anyway I have to go, I have school tomorrow. I'll try to add the next chapter as soon as possible :)


	9. The Two of Us

A/N: I am so so very sorry for not updating for a long long time. I haven't been on fanfic for a while, though I guess it kind of can be my fault. My friend introduced me to Wattpad and I'm addicted. For those of you who don't know Wattpad is this online website also for writers (It is also an app that can be downloaded onto you smartphone- wow I feel like im advertising it :P). I'm not an author there although I have been playing with the idea of creating my own original stories. Anyway my fault.

Another thing would be that I am currently on semester break from my school. So I have a while before I need to go back to school. I will try my absolute hardest to update a lot not for just this story but my others if you also read those. One of my other stories; Through The Years, I'm planning to take down and rewrite it because I feel like I did to many mistakes.

* * *

><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 9: The Two of Us

* * *

><p>"Dude what am I supposed to do?" Jack heard a voice whisper harshly from somewhere in the room. Jack groaned. His head was spinning. What happened? He opened his eyes slowly only to shut them down quickly. The sunlight was too blinding. It also didn't help that his stomach churned and he felt like he was going to get a one way ticket to barf-town.<p>

Hold it together, Jack thought. Oh no, too late. Standing up quickly, which did not at all help the nausea he was feeling, Jack bolted to the bathroom door.

"See! He's a mess. If you can't do it do you honestly think I can?" the voice continued.

"Come on Milton, you're the smartest among all of us. Just think of something," Jerry pleaded.

"But look at him!" Milton whisper yelled.

"Can you stop talking as if I'm not there," Jack yelled in the bathroom. His stomach had stopped churning but he still felt horrible. Looking into the mirror he saw how horrible he looked. He had dark eye bags, his hair was messy and he reeked as if he hadn't bathed for days, which could actually be accurate.

"Sorry," Jack heard both Milton and Jerry say.

Jack knew they were worried. It had been exactly two weeks since the Pirate's Feast where he found out about Kim and Austin. He had been…not sober for majority of the time. He didn't want to be sober, because if he was the overwhelming emotions would come crashing down on him. He knew he was pathetic but he needed to just not think for a while.

"You boys are pathetic," Jack heard a new voice say before footsteps came closer to the bathroom. Jack looked up to the mirror to notice his sister, looking at him expressionless. He didn't have time to react, when Stella marched in grabbed the shower head and sprayed him. Water began seeping through his clothes. He was now soaked from head to toe. He didn't even have time to react because Stella started talking again.

"Take a shower now, put on new clothes and go to the kitchen once you're done," Stella ordered before yelling, "Go!" to a very shocked Jack.

Jack decided following his sister's instruction was safer and did as he was told. He showered all the reek of him and took his time to get to his clothes. When he could no longer put it off, he went to the kitchen. Inside were already Stella, Jerry and Milton all whom have stopped talking when he walked in. Milton passed him a glass of water and advil. Jack smiled in thanks before swallowing the pill with water.

"You can say it," Jack finally said after a while.

"You are an idiot," Stella started, "Why are you drunk instead of fixing your problems? Come on you are Jack Anderson. The Anderson never drink their problems away? There are so many things that I want to yell at you for right now…"

"But she won't," Jerry cut her off, accepting the glare that was thrown his way. He turned to face Jack and continued, "You already have a lot of problems."

"I don't have problems," Jack muttered wishing his glass water was something a lot stronger.

"I swear to god Anderson…" Stella started before getting cut off again.

"Jack, look at yourself. You haven't been out of the house in two weeks, you are moping around, getting drunk. It's not very healthy," Milton said.

"Yeah so?"

"Look we really don't want to bring this up. But you know this is not just about Kim and whatever. This is about what happened in the past years," Milton said.

"Can we not talk about this?" Jack said harshly. His past had nothing to do with Kim.

"No, we are going to talk about this whether you like it or not," Stella said stepping closer towards Jack, her face set in a fierce expression, "You know this all started even way before Kim left. It started when Donna told you she was pregnant. It continued when Kim left and Donna had the baby. I'm sorry the baby died Jack but you can't change the past!"

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do? I can't fix this!" Jack thundered as he put his hands in the air. He didn't know why but ever since he knew that Kim had Austin, he kept thinking about the baby. His baby. That died. And it was all his fault.

Jack remembered the first time he heard he kept thinking that he could fix it but he couldn't. He didn't even know where to start. He didn't know how to fix it so he started to avoid it. Keep his mind elsewhere so he didn't have to think about it.

"You don't need to fix this!" Stella yelled, before taking a deep breath and saying in a softer tone, "You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened you can't change it, Jack. But you can make it better. Talk to Donna. Stop avoiding her, you both need the closure. And you can talk to Kim, apologize and try to get her trust back."

"She won't give me the time of day," Jack muttered not knowing whether he was talking about Kim or Donna. He hadn't talk to Donna since the baby thing, he could not believe it had been close to five years.

"You don't know that. Who knows, she might surprise you," Stella said.

"I'm going for a walk, don't bother waiting," Jack said as he walked out of the kitchen, quickly grabbing his phone and wallet and made his way out of the house.

The minute he stepped out he wished he could go back in to grab a jacket. The weather was quite cooling. Jack fidgeted before moving along to the pavement. He walked not exactly having a destination in mind. He was too focused on his thoughts.

You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened.

Did he blame himself for what happened? Surely not. There was nothing that he could have done. And maybe that was why he felt so guilty. Because there was nothing that he could have done. He was Jack Anderson. He was taught to be a hero. To know that people are always put in unlikely situations and that he might be able to help them.

But how could he when he can't even help himself. He knew there were five stages of some crappy thing that Milton made him watch when the baby first died. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Jack already though he went through the stages. He had been in denial, before being angry at everyone; Donna, the baby, even Kim because she wasn't there. But he was mostly angry at himself. He would have done anything to go back and prevented it and he went through a few months of not being sober and depressed.

Jack thought that he already accepted that the baby was gone. So why is it still haunting him? Because somewhere deep inside he knew that he never gave himself the closure he needed. Donna had tried for the longest time to get him to talk but all he did was avoid her.

Jack was so lost in thought that when he finally noticed where he was going he stopped. Taking a deep breath he stopped. It had been a while since he went down this way and he knew that today he was going to go through it after all, the times he avoided it in the past years. He still remembered it just like it was yesterday.

Next thing he knew he was facing a small tombstone. The ones made for little children which was all the more sadder. The name was Jennifer Grace Anderson. His daughter. The one that died before she even got the chance to live. He didn't know what to expect. He didn't feel numb or broken like the other times before. He was not shedding any tears or whatever. His heart felt heavy and he didn't know what to feel.

"People say it gets easier over time. It doesn't really, it just gets a little bit more bearable," Jack heard a voice say from behind him.

He didn't do or say anything to acknowledge her presence but Jack knew that she knew he heard her. Jack heard her soft footsteps before she held his hand.

"I use to come here every other day when she died. I used to think of the live she could have lived," Donna said.

"What was her life?" Jack said before he could stop himself.

Donna didn't seem to mind, "She would be the most prettiest girl out there. She would meet her best friend in middle school and they would get in to all sorts of trouble. Then she would enter high school where she learns what being a friend means, she would meet a guy and fall in love and then college. She would go through heartbreak and heartaches but she will grow up so strong and beautiful."

"Well at least that is one thing I didn't have to worry about. Her meeting a guy," Jack said before mentally punching himself. That was so stupid of him to say. Donna was going to yell at him for being so stupid. But Donna surprised him by laughing.

"Yeah, at least that's one thing you don't have to worry about," Donna said before pausing and facing him. Jack could see the hesitation in her expression, "Do you ever think about her?"

"All the time back then," jack replied in a heartbeat, "It's getting more bearable though…How did you know I was going to be here. Did Stella or Milton or someone call you?"

"No, I was just going to visit her today," Donna said, "Would you mind keeping me company?"

"I'd love to keep you company," Jack replied.

…

"Hello dearest Kimmy-cup," the voice greeted her.

Kim groaned, "Brody, I told you to stop calling me that."

Kim was currently in the kitchen. Austin was upstairs with Kim's mom who was supervising his bath. She was calling Brody to catch up. Needless to say Brody had picked-up, greeting her with the nickname he knew bugged her.

"I will do what I please Kimmy-cup," Brody said teasing her again, "So how are things?"

Brody knew what that Kim was back at home. He was after all the first person she told. But they hadn't been in contact for a few weeks. Her because she was busy settling things in and Brody because he had been busy with work.

"Great I guess, Austin made an egg warmer for me in art class today," Kim said as she examined the egg-warmer Austin made. It was basically clay with bits of wool and clothe stuck to it. When she will ever use an egg warmer, she was not sure but it was nonetheless absolutely adorable when Austin came running to her with the gift in his hands.

"When are you ever going to use an egg-warmer?" Brody laughed.

"Well you never know maybe the egg is really cold it the fridge," Kim said trying to keep a smile of her lips not that Brody could see it anyway.

"How is the little guy anyway? Settled in good?" Brody questioned.

Brody absolutely adored Austin and it could be said the same thing for Austin about Brody as well. Kim could never keep a smile of her face every time Austin and Brody interacted. They were both fascinating to watch when they were with each other.

"He's great. He made a lot of new friends and he has been asking me to get his a pet kangaroo," Kim smiled as she remembered the small shock she received just days ago when Austin asked her if they could get a kangaroo.

"A kangaroo? What happened to the good old dog or fish?" Brody said in amusement.

"You know Austin, always doing the unexpected," Kim said.

"So how did everyone take it?"

"What is this 20 questions?"

"Kim ," Brody said in a serious voice over the phone.

"They took it as well as anyone could take I guess. Jerry, Eddie and Milton has been around a couple of times to see Austin. I swear every time he sees them he would be running over and talking about what happened to him that day," Kim said.

"That's good," Brody replied, "What about Jack?"

"I haven't seen him in two weeks," Kim sighted, "He didn't take the news well per say."

"And why am I not surprised."

"Hey, it is quite unexpected, and after all his been through he just needs some time," Kim said no even knowing why she was defending Jack. The doorbell of the house rang.

"Why are you defending him?" Brody questioned.

"I'm not," Kim lied as she walked out of the kitchen and made her way to the front door.

"Sure, sure. I believe you," Brody said sarcastically before his voice turned serious, "Just promise me to keep your guard up. He has hurt you once he can do it again."

"Okay Brody, I promised," Kim said, "Now go to bed. It must be two in the morning at New York."

"No it's not, it's just one a.m."

"Goodnight Brody. I'll talk to you later. There's someone at the door," Kim said.

"Bye Kim," Brody said before Kim hung up and opened the door to see Jerry. Jerry was smiling at her.

"Hey Kim, I was just in the neighborhood and I thought…"

"You want to see Austin," Kim cut him off. She had to stop herself from smiling. Out of Eddie and Milton, Jerry was the one who frequently visited Austin. Austin was also very happy to make a new friend out of Jerry.

Jerry nodded smiling sheepishly.

"He is having a bath right now, but you can see him later," Kim said before stepping to the side, "Come on in and relax for a while."

"So who were you on the phone with?" Jerry asked as he stepped in and shrugged his jacket off.

"Just a friend," Kim said, "So how's the girlfriend?"

"She's great, amazing, perfect," Jerry said.

"Describing a person that way is usually good, but I'm concerned. What's up?" Kim asked as she pushed Jerry into the living room.

"I'm thinking she wants to take the next step in the relationship."

"I thought you were serious about her," Kim said raising her eyebrows.

"I am," Jerry said as he ran his fingers through his hair, "I'm just allowed to freak out."

"Okay I guess, but for what it's worth, I think she's a keeper," Kim said as she gave a small shrugged.

"We'll talk about this later, I hear footsteps," Jerry said before his grin became a full frontal smile when Austin practically tackled him, "Hello Kiddo. What's up little man?"

With that Kim watched Jerry and Austin get wrapped around one another. Kim knew that Candice, Jerry's girlfriend, had been hinting the possibility of moving in together. She didn't know why Jerry was so worried, from the way he interacted with Austin she knew he would be a good father. And they were only just thinking about moving with one another. It was not like Candice was expecting a proposal or something like that.

Sometimes things like these you just have to wait out to see.

* * *

><p>Okay done. i didn't really do a proof read so apologies for any mistakes, anyway I'm currently now thinking what should the next chapter be about. I know there is not much interaction between Jack and Kim, I'll probably put some in next chapter.<p>

Anyway this chapter took a while because I haven't written in a while. I'm not sure if you consider it short or long but well the best I could do. I promise to at least make you not wait forever for the new chapters. So till next time :)


	10. Jerry and Jack

Author's note: hey all i am back, it has been a while since i wrote. I was looking at files on my laptop when i came across this chapter which i have already like wrote half of. Apologies for the long long wait, i will try to update, The next chapter i will try to write soon cause i think everyone (including me) will be excited for)

Thank you all for the nice reviews, and lastly enjoy...

* * *

><p>Not Since You<p>

Chapter 10: Jerry and Jack

* * *

><p>"I think Aunt Kimmy is gonna buy me a kangaroo," Austin whispered sleepily into Jerry's ear.<p>

Jerry let out a chuckle. Austin had been the cutest little kid he had met in a while. He had spent the time after Austin's bath to play with Austin for a while before Kim announced that it was passed Austin's bedtime. Kim had allowed Jerry to tuck him into bed while she put away the toys downstairs.

Jerry now found himself sitting at the edge of a tiny bed tucking an adorable boy in. "I'm sure she will," Jerry said, "Now night night."

"Night night," Austin whispered before falling asleep. Jerry waited for a while before standing up and switching off the lights in Austin's room. He then softly closed the door and made his way to the living room where Kim had just finished putting away the last of Austin's toys.

"Well Austin is asleep, although he did mention one interesting thing before he fell asleep," Jerry said before asking, "Why does Austin think you are going to buy him a kangaroo?"

Kim chuckled, "He went to the zoo for his class field trip. Ever since then he kept asking for one. That kid is original."

"It even beats my cousin's pet iguana," Jerry said as he shook his head, "Kid's gonna grow up amazing."

"I know," Kim sighted. The thought of Austin growing left her unsettled and strangely heavy. Maybe it was because Austin will never meet his father or that his mom is now in a coma. Won't that kind of thing break him? What if the other kids bully him about it? What if he grows to resent his mother? Or worse still when she finally wakes up he couldn't care less. Maybe it was one of those reasons or maybe it wasn't any of those that left her feeling deflated.

"What's wrong Kim?" Jerry asked as he guided her to the sofa and taking a seat beside her. He held her hands, a gesture Kim found comforting and waited patiently for Kim to answer. Kim contemplated. The living room was dim and that gave her a sense of privacy and Jerry was a friend that she knew would never hurt her or criticize her thoughts.

"Allow me one moment of weakness," Kim said softly, "I'm terrified for Austin. I'm scared one day when he gets older; he will look back at his life and resent me for it. I am terrified that one day he will see the world for all of its ugliness and cruelty and wonder why everything happened to him."

"Where is this coming from? You are amazing, Kim. The way you take care of Austin; you give your everything. I've never seen you word this hard for anything before," Jerry said as he squeezed Kim's arm.

"I got a call from my aunt Charlotte earlier today. And I just got thinking. Austin's one of the best things that happened to me, I don't want him to hurt, I want to protect him," Kim confessed, "and I know I can't be there all the time. Did you know that he fell at his trip to the zoo with his class? He wasn't seriously injured; just a scraped knee but still…"

"It was not your fault that injury happened and it wasn't your fault that accident with Austin's dad happened," Jerry said softly. He had never seen Kim this vulnerable before. She was always strong even when she was having problems she always faced the head on with a strength that Jerry never had seen on anyone else, "Sometimes things happened beyond our control, we just need to get back up and start again."

Jerry watched Kim think. Everyone back in high school thought that when it came to Kim he knew the basics. That Jack heck even Brody knew her better. But Kim was one of those girls that he genuinely cared about. She was like his sister and Jerry knew what Kim was like, how she thinks what and what she looks like when she is thinking hard.

Just like now on the sofa, he watched her contemplate her thoughts. After a while he heard Kim sigh before facing him with a smile, "Thanks Jerry, who knew you were such a deep person under there,"

"I know, it's the best kept secret in the world," Jerry winked before getting of the sofa and engulfing her in a big hug. Kim might have changed over the years but she still could fit in his arms, "I should probably go now it's getting late."

"I'll you walk out," Kim said after moving back from the hug. She watched Jerry wear his jacket, "thanks again for tonight."

"It was the least I could do," Jerry said, "See you around"

"See you," Kim said as she watched Jerry walk out the door to his car and disappear into the night.

She smiled sadly as she closed the door. She switched off the lights and made her way upstairs, pausing at Austin's room. Opening the door she saw his silhouette unmoving and soundly asleep. She closed the door as quietly as she opened it and went to her room. She needed the sleep.

…

Kim looked around at the clothes on sale. Just yesterday Jerry had visited her and Austin. Today, while Austin was in school she decided to spurge on herself a little by buying something nice for herself. Sure she loved Austin to bits but sometimes she needs to take a little time out for her.

It was there where she saw Jack for the first time in two weeks. She took a deep breath, better late than never. With determination and a clean face she walked to him.

"Hey"

Jack looked up from his handphone, if he was surprise he didn't show it, "Hi Kim"

"So how are you, I haven't seen you in a while?" Kim asked.

"I'm doing good," Jack said.

Then silence. It was as if they could not be around each other without feeling awkward. Jack took a deep breath, it was time he started to make things right and sort whatever it is he had with Kim.

"Listen," Jack started, "I'm sorry about the way I handled the news, don't interrupt me I should get this all out. It was surprising and yeah I was a little mad. I think we should sort us out. I mean I want to settle whatever it is that's going on, if that is alright with you…"

The last sentence hung there but Jack could see Kim beginning to smile, she nodded her head, "Yeah, I would like that."

"Okay so you want to have dinner tonight, we could talk about it then," Jack said

"Sure"

"I'll pick you up at seven, until then," Jack said as he finished off with a smile. Kim smiled to him once more before heading out. It was only a few minutes later did it dawn with to him that he might have asked Kim on a date.

* * *

><p>End hoped you like it, writing the next chapter soon :)<p> 


	11. The date

Not Since You

Chapter 11: The date

* * *

><p>It took her maybe a minute later to realize that she would be alone with Jack for the first time in a really long time. Kim didn't know why but that made her stomach turn and a little tingly. She didn't know whether to be excited or just plain scared.<p>

She knew that they needed to talk things out, that conversation had been long overdue. She knew that they needed to say whatever it is that they needed to so that they can both move forward. But it made her anxious and just thinking about it made her palms sweat.

Kim took a deep breathe, the shopping that she had done just hours ago was worth it. She had bought a nice enough dress. It was a black tube dress that reached just a few inches above her knees. She was wearing a white sweater over it along with her black high heels. Her hair which had grew long enough to be tied was tied into a ponytail. She had put minimal make up and was almost done when Austin walked into her room.

"You look pretty," Austin said.

"Thanks dear," Kim replied with a smile.

"Where are you going?" Austin asked.

"To have dinner with an old friend," Kim responded.

"Why?"

"You know to catch up and talk about things, " Kim said in a light voice before walking towards Austin and carrying him to her bed, "Now you have to behave yourself for Nanna, okay?"

"Okay"

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise"

Kim walked to her vanity to get her purse ready.

"Aunt Kim? Will mom ever wake up?"

Km felt herself freeze before inhaling sharply. This conversation she knew was going to happened, but she didn't expect it to be so soon. How could she tell Austin the truth. That the probability and odds were not at all in their favour. She looked at Austin who looked at her expectantly. He was so young and so much like his parents that it brought a lump to her throat. Kim sat beside Austin on the bed.

"I don't know. Your mom is one amazing person. She is so strong and I bet she is doing whatever she can to come back to you," Kim whispered before hugging Austin and kissing him on the forehead. The conversation she had with Jerry passed through her mind.

You can't protect him forever.

But that does not mean I won't try Kim thought. Kim could see it. Austin's whole future. It was going to be hard, sometimes it would be a struggle but he will get through them and meet people who would change his life. And he would fall in love, he would graduate, get his first job, get his driving license, his first prom and his first crush. Kim could see that and she wished for everything that his mom would see it too.

Kim moved away from Austin, and said, " Come let's go find nanna. I think she mention to me that she was making smore cookies."

Austin's face instantly light up and in a flash he ran out of the room. Kim chuckled and grabbed her purse before going downstairs. She could here Austin talking excitedly with her mom. The counter was covered with baking ingredients. Kim leaned at the doorway and watched as her mother engaged Austin, telling him what he could help her with. She was such a natural at this. At being a mom, Kim hoped that one day it would come easy to her too.

The doorbell rang, and Kim immediately straightened.

"I'm going now mom, see you later," Kim called out.

"Okay sweetheart, good luck," her mom replied and Austin also yelled a very loud bye. Kim walked to the door, her stomach felt fluttery. She was anxious, scared and all kinds of nervous. Kim opened the door. And there he was. Kim had to admit he did look good. Beyond good. What he wore brought out his eyes and made him look so much more good looking.

"You look great," Kim said. As she looked up to his face.

Jack took a while to reply, "You too, shall we?"

Kim nodded accepting the hand he presented to her. They made their way to Jack's car.

Jack opened the car door for her. It was clear in his mind that his thoughts were jumbled. Ironic huh? He tried to keep a calm façade trying to not let Kim know how panicked he was feeling. Adding to that feeling that they were going to lay down all if not most of their cards tonight did not help him feel any better.

Jack never though life would go in this direction. Having dinner with your estranged oldest ex best friend that you once dated. Yeah totally not panicking at all. As he went in the car there was a brief amount of silence. Is that how things were going to be silence till someone gives a go at conversation?

"So your mom watching Austin tonight?" Jack asked politely. He still has not met Austin yet unless you count the disaster that happened at the Pirate's Feast.

"Yeah," Kim smiled

"You look great by the way," Jack said

"Thanks again," Kim said. Jack realized that was the second time he said it and was now berating himself.

"So where are we going for dinner?" Kim asked interrupting Jack from his line of thoughts."

"Um this restaurant in the corner of 5th and 6th street," Jack said before adding in. "This is weird, right? Us having dinner. I mean like…"

"Stop," Kim interrupted with a smile, "You're doing that thing where you ramble on trying to make things less awkward. It's me, you don't need to be awkward with me"

Jack gave her a weak smile. Truth be told that was little truth to that sentence. They had not exactly kept in close contact with one another over the years, and the if recent history has shown they were destined for fights, misunderstanding and general awkwardness.

"Remember the first time you asked me out?" Kim said suddenly, "It was to get cheese burger after that whole Ricky Weaver fiasco."

"Whatever happened to him," Jack mused.

"Please you know he is still famous. He is a jerk but he knows what he is doing"

"Okay"

"Bottom line was that was a good time and we can have that tonight, I'm pretty sure," Kim shrugged, "I'm game if you are?"

…

"I'll be your waitress for tonight, what will you be having?" the waitress looked about their age and was waiting politely on their orders.

"Steak"

"Salmon"

"Okay coming right up, any drinks?" the waitress said as she jot down their orders.

"Just water would do."

With that the waitress left Kim and Jack alone. The restaurant was new Kim though, or at least new to her. It looked like a pretty fancy getup with all the chandeliers and live band playing. The tables had those cover things that automatically made everything more fancy. Their drinks were served in wine glasses. There was a floral and candlelight arrangement. The floors were these sleek marble tiles that just screamed luxurious. Overall it looked like this dinner would cost a fortune on Jack who had insisted that he will pay.

Kim turned her attention back to Jack who was taking a sip of water from his glass. He cleaned up pretty nicely tonight and she was willing to bet that both of them had no idea how to start a conversation with one another.

"So…" Kim started

"So…" Jack repeated

"We should..." the words came out the same time Jack said, "I need..."

"You first," They both said at the exact same time, "No you"

And then they both laughed. Whatever tension that they had burst and Kim felt a little lighter. They both sounded like a couple of teenagers right now having a first date and trying to not make things awkward. She had known Jack for a good solid few years and maybe if they were lucky they could still maintain a friendship or relationship of sorts.

"So how's Rudy been doing?" Kim questioned, "I haven't seen him in a while."

"His good, getting old you know dojo had been doing a number to him," Jack replied, "Just the other day Eddie had to help him with some of the workload."

" I should go visit him sometime. Let Austin play with him," Kim mused"

"He would like that," Jack smiled, "So how is Austin doing?"

"Fine, he has been going to this kindergarten near Seaford Avenue. I'm pretty sure he loves being there more than at home," Kim said.

At that particular moment the waitress arrived back with their food. Jack smiled at Kim, tonight seemed to be going off on a good foot. Hopefully they could handle whatever it is that life throws at them and move on from in. He had missed Kim and if friendship was all she wanted to give to him than he will accept that. He wanted to be a part of her life just as much as he wanted her to be a part of his, the way it was back in high school. Sure they were older and experience has shaped them to what they are now but maybe their friendship or relationship or whatever it is between them could last a life time.

…

"I'm sure your exaggerating," Jack laughed.

They were inside his car and he was driving them back to Kim's house. The dinner had gone surprisingly well after they talked about their issues. Jack was still sure they had so much to talk about and a lot to catch up on but well at least they were speaking to one another.

Right now Kim was telling him about the time Austin accidentally left the wash room sink in her previous apartment still running causing the whole washroom to be flooded. She had only just took her eye of him for 10 minutes.

" I'm not. I swear Austin really flooded the wash room," Kim insisted, "I had to call Brody …"

Kim trailed off. That slip of the tongue might have cause tonight to be ruined. She knew that she sort of lied to Jack telling him that she was no longer in contact with Brody. How would he take this as; an ultimate sign of betrayal? It confused her even more when she saw him smile.

"It's okay I sort of figured that you still talk to him," Jack confessed.

"You seem to strangely take this news well," Kim stated cautiously not sure if he expected her to start talking. She will one day if the odds were in their favor but definitely not now.

"I figured that well we are adults we might as well try to behave like them," Jack shrugged, "Plus I knew that he was a much better friend than I was in high school. I am sorry for that you know"

"There's nothing to apologies for, if there were the apologies that I need to give to you would be 50 pages long," Kim said before adding on, "I like this adult version of you very much."

"Thanks I guess"

They both sat there in silence just thinking about how the night went. Kim was sure Austin was probably asleep, the window curtains of her house looked drawn from her position in the car and her mother wasn't the kind to snoop around. It felt comfortable sitting there with Jack in silence like they did back in high school. No words were spoken but no words were needed too.

"Were you happy?" the words drew Kim out of her thoughts and she faced Jack who looked like he had something on his mind, "Were you happy away?"

"Not all the time," Kim confessed, "Some moments were just horrible but there were moments where I felt on top of the world. My favourite moments were just when I was happy and content with life. Like all is right with the world. Have you ever felt that way?"

Jack thought about her words before a realization came into his mind. His reply was almost instantaneous, "I did but not since you. Maybe I will again"

* * *

><p>AN: Hey everyone. I started this fanfic in 2013. And as far as stories go I felt that this story needed a closure. My absence in writing had to do with things going on in my personal life. Around the time that I slowed down in writing I was starting a new school and let's just say it wasn't as easy as I though. My grades were not on par and I had trouble making friends. Long story short I became depressed and more introverted. After I buckled up and my grades got better and I finally made good friends and I finally thought that the sad period of my life was over, tragedy struck again. A lot happened in 2014 that changed who I was and made me who I am today. It wasn't the most easiest year I can tell you that, I had to deal with knowing that a family member had cancer, a family being torn, someone I loved had a stroke and with that being said it wasn't the hardest I saw love in all its purities someone being born, weddings. That being said I started this at 2013 and now its 2015. I am graduating soon and going to be getting a job so I feel as if I need to have a closure on this story. I may do an epilogue just to sum up what I think might happen a few years down the road. For all those readers who have read this story from the beginning I apologise for the absolutely long delay and thank you guys much for giving a chance of my story. I wish you all the best and happiness in the world.


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